DNS

Part 6 - Charles POV

The second I saw Lilly's message asking if she could stay with me during lockdown my stomach dropped.

I couldn't wait to see her, I'd missed her so much but I also knew she was going to be confused and annoyed at me that I hadn't told her about my break up with Charlotte.

The truth is, she's the reason.

Feb 2020
I'm so drunk, I'm not sure what we were even celebrating, I was just more drunk than I had probably ever been. Charlotte and I got back to the apartment and had been arguing about almost nothing again, things hadn't been good for a while now.

Something came over me and I began to write, I was writing all my feelings in a message to Lil, everything i'd been burying and hadn't been able to tell her for years.

Every time I thought about my feelings for her, I hid them and didn't ever act on them, she was my best friend and I was always so scared I'd lose her if I told her how I felt.

But the truth is that I'm in love with her, and I have been for a while.

I woke up, hungover, my head was on fire and my mouth felt like it had been glued together.

As my eyes peel open, all I see is bags next to me and Charlotte is packing all of her things to leave the apartment. I don't know what's going on, my head is pounding and i'm so confused as to what happened?

She throws my phone at me. That's when I see it - the 2 page drunken confession of love written to Lilly.

Then I see that it's been sent.

Charlotte wasn't visibly even upset, I think she'd known as well as I had that the relationship was already over, but it didn't change how bad I felt and how much I knew I was in the wrong for this. She left immediately taking her things and slamming the door behind her, I haven't seen or spoke to her since. So that was another lie when I told Lilly her and I were still friends.

Then my heart suddenly sank, realising the message had been sent to Lilly, I don't think I had sent it but Charlotte must have done.

I sat there in silence for a moment not knowing what do to, every emotion rushing over me and i'm in no fit state to deal with any of this, but I clicked her name... and pressed call.

"This mobile number is no longer in use."

THANK GOD.
It was her old number.

The relief that flooded over me was like nothing I'd ever felt before, I really thought it was all over.

A month went by without me building up the courage to even contact Lilly and I knew she must have been wondering what was going on, but part of me was hiding, 1. Hoping she hadn't seen Charlotte, and 2. Figuring out what was going on inside my head.

March 2020
Seeing her almost fall over herself as she stumbled out of her apartment over to the car with her suitcase, I immediately felt at ease and all my worries about the situation left.

I quickly took some photos with fans and signed a few things, could have been marriage certificates for all I know - I should probably start looking at what I sign, but she looks beautiful.

I couldn't take my eyes off her as we embrace for a hug and quickly get in my car.

I knew the situation would come up as soon as she entered the apartment, knowing no sign of Charlotte was here anymore, strangely enough when I told her she didn't ask many questions she just asked if I was ok and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

In that moment I knew how hard this lockdown was going to be, her touch, Simply having her arms around me made want her there and then.

Lilly had always been beautiful, she didn't think it herself, but eyes would turn in her direction when she walked in a room.

I don't think I've ever seen her in a dress or shoes that weren't trainers, she was a sweats and T-shirt kind of girl, but always looking effortlessly beautiful.

- Im also quite sure I caught her smelling my pillows when I walked in to give her coffee in the morning, I'm kind of hoping she was?

But last night wasn't how I'd hoped things would go. I wake up on the sofa, it's very uncomfortable and I really should have finished building the bed but I was in no mood to do it last night after finishing streaming.

She was staring at Lando the whole time, and he's clearly interested in her too. I don't really have any reason to be mad here and I can't tell her how much I wish she was mine, I wish I could.

But if there's one thing I'm certain of, I'm absolutely not letting anything happen between her and Lando.

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