We've landed safely in Nice airport. Monaco doesn't have its own airport so any travel usually involves flying in and out of Nice and getting a helicopter into Monte Carlo, or driving depending on the urgency.
Only 10 minutes have passed since my bathroom meltdown after Charles pushing me away. We haven't spoke a word since, I grab my bag and stand by the door praying it opens quickly so I can get out of here as soon as possible.
The door swings open, the stairs are pulled down, the warmth of the air hits me in the face. Wobbling lines of heat can be seen all across the hot tarmac. Now to get home.
"Please slow down." Charles shouts from behind me while I continue to pick up the pace.
"STOP." He's managed to catch up to me, grabbing my wrist pulling me back towards him.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I am doing" An essence of defeat and exhaustion in his voice as the words leave his mouth.
I can see he's fighting a battle in his own head that doesn't need to be fought and I just wish he would properly express himself to me.
I'm coming to the conclusion that we aren't great communicators.
"Just tell me how you actually feel, I only want you and if you don't want me then say that Charles, but please don't play around with me."
"I don't know what to say to you, you know I want you but it just wouldn't work."
"You're a fucking coward Charles."
The palm of his hand smashes into the plastic board of the wall next to us as he lashes his arm out, people around us turn and look after the echoing noise of the impact. I don't know how things can go this bad this quickly. Everything was fine before we decided to talk about this. He's still not actually explained anything, it's just oh it won't work, or we can't do this, but never a reason as to why.
He storms off into the distance leaving the airport exit, I don't know where he's going or how he thinks he's getting home when I have the car keys in my pocket.
By the time I get to the lower car park, I see him. Sitting on the floor with his back against the driver door, head in his hands.
We make eye contact as I'm getting closer to the car, his eyes are the most expressive eyes I've ever seen - I can always tell how he's feeling or even what he's thinking sometimes just from looking into his eyes, his eyes communicate far better than his mouth seems to.
But in this moment his mouth communicated exactly what was needed. "Mon amour you're right I have been a coward." With a hand on my waist and one on my cheek he pulls me in for a kiss.
We're standing in a dirty car park, a huge bin that smells like horror directly next to us, but I don't care, I can see in his eyes he's stopped fighting whatever was going on in his head and is actually giving in to his feelings. Or at least I hope that's what's happening, if he pushes me away right now I think I'll lose my mind.
Thankfully that didn't happen, as our lips part he smiles and lightly kisses me on the cheek, "all I want is you and I should have made that clear to you sooner."
A weight lifts from around me and it's as if everything feels how it's supposed to, then the realisation that we now need to drive home, or what was my home - becomes all too apparent.
That house is empty, it's not going to feel like my home anymore, it's just a shell of what was mine and my dads home, all his possessions.
The thought of what was to come next when we arrived back in Monaco hadn't even crossed my mind, I'd neglected to think about how different things were going to be, or what my life here even looks like anymore.
Charles takes the wheel and we begin on our journey back to Monte Carlo. I love watching him drive, he's just naturally incredible behind any wheel, he's confident and skilful and most of all - so so happy.
The journey doesn't take very long and before I know it we're back in the city and parking up outside of my house, but I don't think I want to go in, not yet.
Barely building up enough courage to head into the house, I just about manage to make it through the front door. I need to grab a few things to take to Charles apartment, staying with Charles is what I need at the moment while I figure things out, and I can't be in this house alone.
As I swing open the heavy wooden door, I'm met by a mountain of letters on the floor in that have been posted, so many letters.
One hand written note that reads -
Please return contact as soon as possible in regards to the will and testament of Mr. James L Walker.
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YOU ARE READING
DNS
Hayran KurguThey were drivers, they were best friends. No one was expecting lockdown to happen in 2020, and Lilly and Charles certainly weren't expecting for their story to turn out like this.
