"SHE'S A MESS", THEY SAID
Am I fine?
No, I'm not.
Let's normalize checking on ourselves and not wait for someone to check on us. Perhaps, it'll just work for me. Since, I'm not an extrovert with a bunch of friends to chitchat. Not a big deal though.
Anyway, today wasn't a bad day nor a good day. I was happy yet sad, I won't lie. Asking to live and begging to die. I never know that I could feel two opposite emotions at the same time. I hate me sometimes but I can't afford someone to disrespect me, not a chance. I'm a mess, they said. For sure, scratching their heads trying to figure me out. Perhaps, they're right, I'm getting insane.
'Coz my head is a chaotic chamber. Wondering 'bout what you think, what you feel, what will happen next, why life's hard? Don't ever dare to read me, I'm a mess.
I heard someone say, "You create your own problems"
I do. And I hope I can also create solutions to the crimes I often do. Some people blame the universe for every bad luck they encounter. Along the way they scream from the top of their lungs "The Universe is cruel to me!"
I can say I had the time of my life where I mumbled that too. Why can't we live happily? Without problems, without envy? Can I live without overthinking every single thing, can it be?
I guess to live is to suffer 'coz to suffer is to learn. And to learn is to grow. And when you grow, you live.
It's just another day where I don't know how I feel. It doesn't feel right but I don't know how to fix it.
RAIN
YOU ARE READING
HER JOURNAL
Non-FictionIt includes real life situations and events. A glimpse of HER thoughts. Contains poems, quotes and prose. Welcome to HER world - a concoction of poetic sentiments and confessions drizzled with grayish clouds of chaos dusted with fragility and ardor.
