HER JOURNAL

SEPTEMBER 1, 2024

People tend to think about themselves most of the time. Who don't think about themselves? It's selfish, isn't it? But sometimes it comes unnoticed.

"What will people think of me if I make a mess?"

"I need to do this, I need to be that so they will like me"

"I'm not doing that, what if they judge me?"

It's always like that and if you think about it again and again and if you scrutinize it more deeply — you'll find it annoying and unhealthy. It's always "What will people think of me?"

"I don't want to mess up, I want them to like me"

It's always "Me"

But reality slapped me with the fact that the world doesn't revolve around me. Enough of the idea of being the main character like we're in Disney. We're not.

Whether we say the wrong word or forget our lines on our speech. Whether we fall on the ground in front of our peers or wave on people we thought is waving on us. Whether we get laughed out or talked about because of being different. The reality is that we're not running in people's head 24/7 the way we make ourselves believe.

We shouldn't get upset of what will they think of us if we make a mess. I'll tell you a secret, they're busy thinking of themselves too to notice the reason why you're upset.

Why are you scared to make a mistake? Because you're thinking that prolly the person who saw you mess up will tell his/her friends that you mess up? And they'll laugh at you while they're having dinner, while they're on their vacation, and they'll tell your tales on their daughters and future generations? We get so upset on the matters that don't really matter for other people.

"I'll be friendly so I can fit in"

"I won't do the first move, I'll look desperate"

The intent is still facing towards yourself. In that sense, be friendly because you know that it's your true nature and you love socializing. Talk to people because you care for them. It's not how you look in other people's perspective. You're not doing a certain action to feed your ego nor your pride. You're doing something because it makes you happy and you want to do it.

We can't always look so clean in the eyes of other people no matter how we please them. Choose to be free and care less about what he/she will say. Don't be scared to look stupid as long as your heart is pure and free from hatred. Play with the chapters a little, get out of the comfort zone and forget about being the perfect character.

Life's too short, I promise. Do things that no one would dare to do.  Like doing what you love without worrying about people judging you. Like dancing when you heard your favorite music without the fear of not being a good dancer. Like being stupidly in love because you know it never comes twice.

Soon we'll grow old and can do nothing but reminisce the past. We live to make our stories and fill in every chapters. You've got stories to tell soon. It might be a crazy story but people love it hilarious and happy. Do whatever the hell you want without breaking the moral code. Embarrassment are plot twists. Tell your grandkids you're too brave to do what you did. No one can do that better than you.

Rain