The past months I've been lost — I didn't know myself for a while. I've been through shits that I'll never think I'll do. I've said words I promised not to use unless I'm a million percent sure that it's for the person I'll spend my whole life — it's sacred and true. I broke my own rules and argued with my conscience. I've sacrificed some of my well kept principles. Redo my plans for unexpected changes and adjustments.
I've changed. I know because my life tilted a bit and my whole system felt it. I didn't mind the consequences — taking that silly risk 'coz I'm spoiling my emotions. I was happy — so much happy.
But enough of this sugarcoated shit. I want to go back to the old me. She knows better than I am right now. She'll definitely laugh at me or even be sorry 'coz I believed that true love exists but the truth is everything is temporary.
I want to tell a story about the guy I met a few months ago. Perhaps I'll tell about that when I already have the time to breathe. I'm drowning right now, yet, I'm choosing to make the best out of it 'coz why not?
I was intoxicated by their so-called "love." Perhaps that wasn't for me. I just want to be loved, I've said that — a cliche line in my poetry. But it seems like I'm hard to love 'coz I make other people feel bad. It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Guess my love language is a f♪ckin toxic artistry. I'll call it "The art of toxic love — I thought you'll still love me during the times that I'm hell unlovable but I guess you are not me — 'coz I can love me with all my maybes"
Rain
YOU ARE READING
HER JOURNAL
Non-FictionIt includes real life situations and events. A glimpse of HER thoughts. Contains poems, quotes and prose. A journal of a girl we'll just call Rain. Isn't it interesting to read someone's journal? She say's, "Sometimes, it's better to let a stranger...
