ALONE

This is the part of me

I woke up next morning covered with sheets,all naked in Jack's bed.The last night was like a wild dream.I have experienced something like never before.

I can remember that in the start it's hurts like hell.All the time long I was holding my eyes closed,in few moments when I opened them I saw Jack's green-yellow eyes looking at me.I can say that he was pretty gentle.He was asking me if it's hurts and kissing my neck.I kissed his too,a few times.I scratched his backs pretty well I can say.When he finished he look at me,kissed me slowly and went into the bathroom. I get my panties on and my braa too and try to forget about the pain between my legs.Whenever I moved it hurts.When he get out of the bathroom he get on the bad and hug me,letting my head on his chest.I fall asleep in next minutes.

I turn my head on the other side and saw him sleeping on the other pillow. He looks like a baby with that blond hair,and just a little opened mouth.I look at him for a couple of seconds and remember the sentence: "you can't not love someone who you watch sleeping. " I asked myself if is that a true? Do I love Jack? No,I don't think so.

Slowly I get out of sheets and bed ,and pick up my clothes trying to not make any noise.I get downstairs when I heard some moves in the bed.I look up and saw Jack sitting in the bed.Oh noooo..Please.... I run trough the door directly in my room.
This is bad.I don't want to talk with him.I feel bad and I don't know what else..But I don't wanna do that.
I throw my clothes on the bed and get in bathroom to get shower.It's nearly five in the morning so I take a little bit longer with my shower.I let my thoughts run last night over and over again.I don't know if that what happened last night was a good.I don't know how to act when see Jack.I know that I can't avoid him to the rest of my life.Should I act like nothing happens or like it's a big deal.I will see in school.

I was really fast when I was doing my morning routines and get dressed for school. My hair is really interesting,I really like it.

I've got the answer on my question. People doesn't change when they have sex.Well they doesn't change in they looking, but mental yes.Just in way that you accept what happened can or destroy you or make you happy. i don't feel nice about that,and if someone ask me if I'm still a virgin I would probably say yes.Jack is really nice and good looking but he have really destructive past and I don't know if I can handle it.If he can handle it.I don't know if I am the first girl after that and for sure I am not going to ask him that.
I get in the parking loat and saw Ellie,Marry,Alex,Maria and Katherine standing all together. It is really weird to see them standing together, it's like that didn't happened in the years not just in few days.It's like everything have changed since the night I left my mother and the house.I didn't hear with them since party except yesterday in school but that doesn't count.Just yesterday I was the last virgin in the circle of friends,and now...I don't want to think about that.

I went directly to them with a fake smile but it faded when I saw Marry crying.

-What happened? -I asked but there is not a answer. Heartbreaking silence is killing me. -Can anyone answer me, please?

Elie look at me and her eyes are in some deep confusion.

-Marry and her family are moving in Australia in two days.-she said the whispering.

I open my eyes in shock and just stare in her.I don't know what to say.I am just....Okay..I take a deep breath.

-Why?-is all I can say.

-Job. -only one word is explaining everything.

Couldn't them find some job here or in Europe or somewhere closer ..Why Australia? It's so far away.

-Can you come at the airport so I can say you guys real goodbye? -she asked us with cracking voice.

We all just nodded.I need to take atmosphere up.I know that it wouldn't help me but if it would help her it's okay with me,I can handle it.