ALONE

'The beauty of broken angel'

I put my hands behind my head and my shoes on the table.I like to annoy teachers.Especially techer of  history.

She is little and verry shy girl.She have about 30 years but she look like she is 18.One look on her and I feel sick.Her skirts are long to cover the ankles and made from wool.Always in some color,but usually in grey and shirting in color of honey.What a great combination.I want to vomit.She have that big glasses like some cartoon character.Eaven dexter look cooler than her.Her hands are always shaking and she is always looking in the floor.She is afraid of our class.Boys in our class are pervert and in our class is me.I always have some pervert comment or question on what she don't have the answer.I thing that she is still Virgin.She is definitely most not pervert persone that I know.

Now she is teaching us,or she think that she is teaching us,we are not listen her,about Pocahontas,Amonute or something like that.I think that we are the only school who is teaching about Pocahontas.

-Whether she was obsessed with sex? Whether she knew about pose 69?-I asked trying to throw in my voice persiflage and boring.

Teacher look direct in me and stop her speech.She blushed and look me direct in eyes for just one second and then looked down in her hands.

-I don't..I don't think so.-she answer with trembling voice.She is eaven more red then I was think that she will be.

-Hmm...Then she is the same as you.Do you know how that pose looks like?-I asked her with huge smile on my face.I can hear how the rest of the class is trying not to laugh.

Teacher mehanically jerked her head up and look at me.I pull up one eyebrow and wait for the answer.She looked down and shaking her head to say 'no'.

-Well that is something what we were expected.We should call you...Pocahontas then,what you think about that?-I heard familliar deep almost male voice and look behind me almost fall from the chair.Anna? What the hell? Is this sort of cosmic joke? Anna,the only one who is always defends the teacher,the one who told me to try to be nice to her..And now she is said that?

She smiled on my face and winked at me.I look her for couple second and slowly turned around.I can say that teacher is in shock too.No,I think that whole class is in shock.They are all staring in her like she's an alien.

I guess that she is really changed.She is not more the kind,sweet,good Anna like she was.She have a tattoo,new hair style,new clothes,she became dark in some way.I think that she needed that.She was too naive.I know that is not nice to think like that about best friend but she was.She was stupid,simply said.

Teacher is standing there with open mouth and don't know what to say.I start to yell 'Pocahontas! Pocahontas!' and class followed me.She look at her hands and I think that she is crying.Well that's good.That was my plan from the start.I don't know why but I hate her.I hate the way she think about sex,the way she smiling without one teeth,the way she's standing straight like an arrow..I don't believe in the love on first sight,but I believe in hate on fist sight.

-Don't cry,be proud..I mean,Pocahontas was Virgine..Just like you.-Once again I hear deep voice with a hint of contempt in it.

I smiled proud and evil.

I wasn't evil from the start.I was just like Anna.Naive,good,sweet..But every girl change some day.

The day of my change was when I had sex with a 'love of my life' .That was what I was thinking then.I was thinking that he loves me,that he's perfect,that he wouldn't hurt me..I still remember that night.The night when I lost my Virginiti.

We was planing that for days,I wanted it to be perfect.His parents was on some road trip and he was alone.

I remember how nervous I was while I was getting ready.I bought new underwear just for that.I tied my,then blond,hair and put parfume on my neck.With just a little bit of mascara,powder and black dress I get in car and drove up to him.He was nice all night.We drink some wine and I remember how I feel something in my stomach.Like something bad is going to happen.

After dinner we went upstairs in his room.He had king sized bed.There was candles all around the room.He stardted kissing me.I could feel his tongue on my and the sweet taste of wine.I followed his tongue and kiss became avid.I felt his hand pulling down my bratel of dress.With other hand he pulled up edge of dress.His fingers following inside of my leg,the end of panties and grabbing my ass.I remember how my stomach reacted on that.I knew that he turned me on.He pull me closer to him and I remember that I could feel his cock getting harder.With hand  that he ang bratel he caught one of my breast.He pulled my dra down and caught again,now free,breast.He made circles around my nipple  with his finger and grab it hard.It hurt and I told him,but he igored me and pushed me on the bed.I Immediately said him that I don't want this.He slap me.I could fell how the taste od wine is replaced with iron taste of blood.I look at him and saw that he don't have pants nor boxer shorts.I saw his dick and him how adjust condom.I tryed to stand up and run but he grabbed and threw me on bed.He tore my dress and underwear impatient to take them down.I was trying to push him away,but he slaped me whenewher I raised my hand.My mouth was full of blood.I turned head on side and spat blood on his sheet.He grabbed my legs and spread them.I was trying to kick him,but he slap me again.I remember that I felt something wet between my leg,I knew that that was his dick.He penetrated into me suddenly and with all his streng.I scremed.It hurted so bad.I was trying to kick him,to bite him,I was scratching him..But he continued.I was begging him to stop hoping that he will.When I realized that he wouldn't stop and that I can't fight with him I langid and just lay there waiting for him to finish.I couldn't feel pain anymore,I numbed.I turned head on the side and look at the window.I could see the stars and I was praying to be there with them..

When he finish he leave me there and go out.I don't know where.I was glad that it's over.For a couple minutes I was lying there naked.I tryed to pluck legs but it hurts.I found some his t-shirt and pants and get dressed.The shirt was smell like him and I was trying not to tear it.Every step was painfull but I continued.I walked home 'cause I didn't had money.When I get home I lay on my bed and just cry.I was crying for whole week when I realized that I need revange.

I found some doing drugs gang and paid them to beat him.With a golf club I broke his car.I felt happy when I saw him with broken nose lying on the street.I spit in his face and let them kill him.His parents called me to come on his funeral to give a speech,I agreed.But they didn't expected that speech.I cursed and insulted him while my speech.I remember their shocked faces when I took the wine and poured him,then spit him and laugh.Someone grabbed me and made me out,but I was laughing.

From then I am who I am.I fuck with guys,do what I want and hate them all.

I came back in reality when I heard bell ring.I stand up wait for Anna.She stood beside me and I look at her.She is taller than me for 5centimetres.She have dark purple lipstick and she is smiling.I smiled back and we walk out of the class.

-You wanna go out?-she asked me when we leave our books.Well her books,I don't do't use them.

-Yeah..I need a cigarette.-I really do.I don't want to remember that night.The momory of it always upset me.And I think that cigarette will help this time.