ALONE

If everyone cared

Last mount was full of changes.Everyone is different including me.I chose to keep my secret for me.It's not real secret,I'm dying.

One mount is behind me and still nothing happened.

Ellie is different. She's always apsent and never listening when I'm talking.When we were on party she wasn't like usual looking at guys she wasn't eaven drinking.I tried to get something from her but she always change the subject.I catch her hanging with Jack all the time.When she come to visit me she end up saying that she need a bathroom and walk to Jack's room.I act like I don't know that and I wonder what's going on.

Marry went to Australia.We all cried when we said goodbyes. It was really sad.

Katherine found some guy and they are dating for mount.

I occupied my mind with school to stop thinking about my diagnose .It's worst at night when I end up alone In my bed with homework finished and with death on my mind.My nose was bleeding few more times,once I couldn't stop it.I still didn't lose my weight,I am waiting for that.I have headaches and sometimes pain in my chest.

My grades are high and dad said that he is proud on me.He stays at home three days in the week and we are or talking or watching movies.I founded out that I can say him everything,and I did.Including about Jack.He was laughing when I asked him if is that legal but end up saying that he don't know.He is supporting me and saying me to stay strong. One night when I started crying I went in his room and wake him up.He told me that I am great person and that when it comes the time to say that to my friends I will know.I slept on his couch and woke up in my bed.He is great person unlike my mother.

-Can I come in?-I heard voice coming from my doors.I get my head up and saw Jack all in black.

-Well you are already in.-I decided to talk with him earlier this week but I was too occupied with school and doctors.

-I mean can we talk?

-We are talking. -I respond him but I don't want to get up from bed.

-Cut the crap,you know on what I'm thinking. -He walk in the middle of the room and sit on the floor.

-You know there are chair and couch and bed..But you can sit on the floor too.I'm okay with all of that.Your butt.-I shrugged sitting in the bed.I have a headache but I get used on it.I have them almost every day.

-I know.I wanted to tell you that if you want we can always forget that and be friends. We can always be together if you want that 'cause I really like you.I think that you are different and special.-he get me unprepared.

I stare at him fore a minute.-Jack I can't be with you eaven If I like you.

-Why?-he looks so sad staring in the floor and biting his lip ring.

-I can't do that to you. You can't go through that again.-I let out a breath from my lungs.My sick lungs.

-Through what?

-Jack I'm dying.-I said and watch his reaction.

-How?-He was confused and obviously didn't believing me.

-I have tumor on my brain and lungs.-I shrugged.

-Hay kiddo what's up?-I heard familiar voice and see my dad on the door.He was happy,don't know why,but he was.He saw Jack and it was obvious that he was confused and In some kind of shock.-Uhmm..Hi Jack.-he waved him.

-Hi.-Jack simply said.

-What are you doing?-he placed fake smile on his face.

-Listening about sad way to tell that she don't want to be with me.You just can say it,you don't have to lie.-he think that I lied him.How could anybody lie about that?

-That's not the lie!-I suddenly yelled and I can her buzzing in my ears and the headache became so hard that the pain on the scale 1-10 pain is 11.

-Anna calm down.Get a tissue, your nose is bleeding again.-dad said.I didn't realized that my nose is bleeding. Shit.

I get to the bathroom and get some toilet paper.I can hear them talking so I stayed silent.

-Is he dying? -Jack asked.

-I'm sorry,but she didn't lie to you.She is dying.She have only a few mounts.

-I am not believing you!

-Jack...

-Shut the hell up!She's not dying!

I get out,my heart is pounding in my chest.

-Do not yell at him!-I screamed.-You should be thankful because he gave you a home, your space and he was there for you when you needed him! I am dying,accept that! I don't need a drama and any boyfriend...-I started caughting and covered my mouth with hand.Tears run down my cheeks and I couldn't get air.Dad get his way to me and hold me with one hand.

-Calm down.Try to breath.-he said softly trying to help me.

I tryed to listen him and to catch air.When I moved hands I realized that I don't have that much time.My hands was covered with blood,and they are shaking badly.Pain became eaven worst and the breezing in my ears became almost painful. The last thing I saw was Jack looking shocked in front of me