CHAPTER FOURTEEN

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The Blair Bitch Project

Wakey, wakey, Upper East Siders

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Wakey, wakey, Upper East Siders. Spring break is done, and I'm starved for the dish. Were you sunning in Capri or sinning in Croatia? Give me the deets.

***

Ella was banging on the bathroom door.

"Chuck, I'm serious! Are you done yet? This is my bathroom! It's late, and not to mention disgusting. Chuck!" Ella shouted and opened the door to see him sat on the counter smoking weed. "What are you doing?"

"All right, ladies. My sister needs to shower. Make room." Chuck shouted and the water was running. "I'm just messing with you."

"I can't believe you lit up in my bathroom."

"Well, if I lit up in mine, then the folks would know it was me, sis." Chuck replied.

"Oh, okay. Let's get one thing straight our parents maybe insisting on blending our households, but I am not your sister. I do not share any of your DNA nor do I ever wish to." Ella said firmly.

"Then I suggest you get new hand towels."

"Okay. It's imperative that I bathe. Can you just get out?" Ella shouted. "You know what? Fine. Just forget it, I'll use the guest bathroom."

***

Ella and Chuck came downstairs to see
Eric hiding and spying at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Ella asked.

"I'm hiding from my valet. He wanted to put my socks on for me this morning. Your servants are very attentive." Eric replied and Chuck put a hand on Eric's shoulder.

"You should meet the new Latvian maid."

"No. No, no, no, he should not meet Brigita. He's 14. Avoid this person." Ella said and pulled him away from Chuck.

"May I remind you, Ella, that you used to have a sense of humour." Chuck said.

"No." Ella told him as they walked into the dining room.

"Morning, father."

"Hey."

"And how is Lily von Bulow today?" Chuck asked kissing her hand.

"Oh, I have a headache. I had a very frustrating conversation with the wedding planner this morning." Lily replied.

"Well, may I say aggravation becomes you?"

"You may, but I won't believe it. So... first day back at school, huh? Honey, you didn't, uh, want to shower?" Lily asked Serena and Chuck laughed.

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