Broken Secrets (gxg)

10 : Not Enough

Elliott's POV

It has been a few days since I met Sterling's family. They were all so nice and welcoming. I didn't think that they would be like that. I expected more of a hesitancy from them. I definitely didn't expect her parents to be so kind.

My entire life I have only ever known the bad that the Kanes caused. All the hurt and pain they caused. I never imagined that people who were evil to me and my family could be caring. They all had such great love for each other. It was obvious at the gathering how much each one of them cared for the other.

Although all their kids are grown Blair and Drew showed them affection. Drew was teaching Brooks how to cook on the grill. She was patient with her. Even when Brooks burned the food and almost her. When Brooks made a mistake she wasn't punished for it. Drew didn't lash out. She taught her the correct way without belittling Brooks.

In the midst of it all I forgot that I was on a mission. I was having fun. Getting to know as many people as I could, playing with Sterling's baby cousins, hearing stories about Sterling, and just having good laughs with everyone. Is that what all regular families do?

Getting distracted was not my intent, but it happened. And now I will disappoint my father even more. He wants me to come over to let him know everything I learned, but everything I learned isn't going to help us.

I pull into the driveway parking my bike in front of the house. I take my helmet off before getting off of my bike. I walk into the house and I see Lexi outside of my father's office.

"Hi Lexi" I greet.

"Hello" smirks as her eyes run over my body.

"What?"

"Nothing, just been a while since I've seen you ride your motorcycle" she bites her lip and steps closer to me. "You look really hot right now"

"I-I have a meeting with my father, sorry" I reply, stepping past her into the office. I really do have to meet with my father, but that wasn't the real reason why I rejected Lexi. I can't focus on that right now however.

"Hello father"

"Sit" he replies and I follow instructions. "Tell me everything you learned"

"Well there isn't much that I learned that would be useful to us-"

"What do you mean! Did you not meet the family?" he cuts me off.

"Y-yes, but there was not much opportunity to learn anything that we could use"

"I knew I should've got someone else to execute this plan. You are useless" his frustration begins to increase. I have heard those words plenty of times throughout my life. It would be more surprising if he had complimented me.

"There wasn't much but I did learn the house layout" I reply but he remains silent. "There are four main entrance points on the first floor and two on the second. Two guards are stationed at the driveway entrance, one at the main door, and four around the house. They have a good security system with motion sensors and heat detection as well" having a photographic memory is very useful at times.

"What is the best way in without being detected?"

"I didn't see any blindspot, but I will find one. I have been accepted by them. Once I am able to return into the house I will deliver an entrance plan for you. I promise"

"Next time learn more. We don't have time to waste. Dismissed" he says then proceeds to work on what he was working on before I walked in.

"Yes sir" I move to leave the office. Not surprised that he is not satisfied with what I found out. I need to be better. I have to stop fucking up. This is a mission. Time to get my head back to focus.

"Hey you okay?" Lexi asks, stopping me from leaving.

"I'm fine" I say trying to walk past her.

"Do you want to take out that frustration?" she asks as her hands land on my arm.

I quickly grab her hand and pull it off of me, "No and don't touch me"

"What the hell has gotten into you" she says as she follows me out to my car.

"Nothing just leave me alone"

"You use to like when I touched you" she shouts.

I quickly turn back to her, "Keep your voice down" I tell her sternly.

"What? don't want daddy to know that you have been fucking his assistant?"

"Trust me it isn't happening ever again"

"Okay sure. I'll see you next time your daddy issues arise or when you are too scared to stand up for yourself. Seriously, what was the point of all that training? You sometimes really are useless" Lexi replies. Instant anger and hurt fills my body.

"At least I'm not the one that tried to find comfort in an 18 year old because I have no one else. And won't ever have someone else because you are just some desperate pathetic slut" the second I finish my sentence I receive a slap to the face from Lexi.

"Fuck you!" she says.

I smile in response only making her more mad. "No thank you, I'm over using you" I reply before getting on my bike and drive away.

As I ride back to my apartment the rage is not calming down. I grip the throttle tightly as I speed down the street. I can not believe that Lexi actually said those words to me. I have been called useless by my father many times, but she has never called me that. She knows the relationship I have with my father and the verbal abuse I have gone through in my life, but she didn't care.

Once I am inside my apartment I try to calm down but I can't help the anger. Being mad at Lexi, mad at my father, mad at myself, and mad about my stupid pathetic life. Anything I do I can't do right. I can never make my father happy. I do everything he asks and it still isn't enough. I'm not enough.

Why did the Kanes have to ruin everything? Why couldn't they just leave my family alone. Maybe if they never ruined things my life would be different. My father wouldn't hate me, I would have my grandparents, my family wouldn't have to pay all their focus on one stupid family. We could just be a regular family. Spend time with each other rather than trying to take down a family.

"FUCK" I shout out loud. My thoughts and emotions getting the best of me. Before I know it things begin to break. The lamp on the stand, picture frames, plates, anything in sight. Then the wall punches begin. It keeps going past the pain and blood on my fist. The anger slowly becomes sadness. I have not had an outburst like this in years. I thought that I learned how to be in more control but I guess I haven't. Everything came all at once and I was not prepared for it. For my failure of the mission, Lexi calling me useless, and me falling for Sterling.

I have tried to stop the feelings. Telling myself that this is a mission, that she is the enemy, that the Kanes are evil and need to be taken down. That none of this is real. So why is it that I feel my most real self when I am with Sterling. I feel happy for the first time in years when I am spending time with her. All I think about is protecting her. But I can not protect her without failing my father. It is her or my family and that is the problem. This is what is making everything so difficult to deal with. It is messing with my head so much.

"Elliott!" someone shouts causing me to stop. As I turn I am faced with those beautiful gray blue eyes.

"S-sterling" I whisper.

"What is happening?" she asks with concern as she walks to me.

"No stop!" I shout unexpectedly. "Sterling please leave"

"What? No, I'm not leaving" she continues to come to me. I can feel my emotions starting to beat me. I don't think I can hold them back much longer.

"Sterling, please, don't" I tell her as I see her come into me. Her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me into her embrace.

The feel of her arms around me is too much. The tears begin to slowly fall. I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly. My head falls onto her shoulder as the tears come out more and more.

My emotions are too far over to hold them back.