The Human in Hell (new version)

CHERUB

A/N: Thanks to Renowned-Wolf for helping with a few things.

The episode opens up to a shot of Heaven's golden gates. The gates open and "Cherub Towne" is shown. Cletus flies in front of the camera.

Cletus: Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!

Millie: Nice one, B! (to you) Your turn, baby.

Blitzo: Set up another, Mox.

Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old-fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 news logo appears. You fiddle with your amulet sitting next to a sleeping Loona.

Y/N: Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!

Moxxie switches the channel. A demonically dressed Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent, bouncing breasts, holding a pitchfork. Moxxie flinches in anticipation. You, Blitzo and Millie look bored.

Y/N: Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep goin'...

Moxxie switches the channel again. Wally Wackford appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.

Wally Wackford: I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?

Wally whacks his cane on the wall at either side of him, producing the graphics for "CRAZY CONTRAPTIONS" and "GOOFY GADGETS" as he speaks.

Wally Wackford: WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory,

The Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea "Factory" ™ title appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons. The panel with the title then falls over forwards, landing with a crash

Wally: where you make the things and I make the money!

Wally moves close to the screen with a pleading look.

Wally: Please! I'm very desperate!

Y/N: That'll will do it!

The TV spontaneously combusts, courtesy of your amulet.

Millie: WOO! You're on a roll, guys!

The building starts shaking, waking up Loona.

Loona: Guys... do you feel that?

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?

Moxxie: That's possible?

Y/N: So it's like an earthquake, but only affects Hell.

Millie: Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!

Moxxie's tail stiffens from being startled by Millie's sudden outburst. She then grabs his arms in an attempt to "calm" him.

Moxxie: I'm not *holds up finger quotes* "panicking," because hellquakes don't happen.

Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie with one arm and shakes him while holding you protectively with the other.

Loona: STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!