The Human in Hell (new version)

Father's Day

A/N: Thanks to Renowned-Wolf, who was a huge help with this chapter.

Scene opens on you in your dad's home on earth, along with IMP, Verosika's Crew, and the Hotel Crew. 

The Hellhounds and sex demons are in their human disguises, with Charlie using a spell to glamour everyone else to look human.

You are shown pacing, occasionally running your hand through your hair. 

Loona: Are you ok, Puppy?

Blitzo: You don't have Daddy issues, on top of Mommy issues, do you?

Verosika: Shut up, Blitz-O! (bonks him)

Y/N: For your information, my dad and I have always been close. But these past months, we haven't been hanging out as much since I've been busy helping with the assassination business and helping with the Hotel. But since it's Father's Day, I figure now is as good a time as any to tell him the truth.

Moxxie: But he's a Soldier, and the last time humans discovered our existence, we were captured and interrogated for information.

Y/N: I know that. Which is why I've been working on a memory erasure spell. I'd really hate to use it on my dad, but if he freaks out, then I'll have no other choice to  make him forget he ever saw you.

You hear a car pull into the driveway.

Angel: Gotta admit, it'll be nice to finally meet the badass Green Beret you always talk up. 

Niffty: He's definitely done some bad boy things. (giggles like a gremlin)

Everyone else groans and rolls their eyes, looking visibly annoyed.

Y/N: (through gritted teeth) You're not sleeping with my dad!

Niffty: (teasing) That's what you think.

Before you can respond, you hear footsteps coming up the steps and move to stand in front to the door as D/N opens it.

Y/N: Hey, Da-

D/N:Y/N!

He pulls you into a tight hug.

D/N: So good to see you!

Y/N: (constricted) Good to see you too, Dad.

Your dad lets you go and looks around.

Y/N: Oh, right! Dad, I'd like to introduce you to some people.

D/N: You mean your girlfriends? It's about time!

Y/N: You know?!

D/N: You weren't that good at hiding it and I've come home to see you sleeping while snuggled up to one of them, (points to Loona) that one to be precise.

Loona: (blushing) O_O.

Y/N: (a little embarrassed) Ok. Dad, this is Loona. She's my first girlfriend. 

D/N: C'mere, future daughter-in-law!

He pulls Loona into a bone crushing hug.

D/N: She's so pretty.

Loona: (nervous laugh) Uh, lovely to meet you, uh, sir!

D/N: (incredulous laugh) Y/N, how'd you manage to start dating Verosika Mayday of all people?

He and Verosika shake hands.

Verosika: We met at one of my concerts a couple years ago, I thought he was pretty adorkable, and I, uh...(clears throat; talking faster) rode him on stage in front of a crowd and took his virginity.