The Human in Hell (new version)

Overture

A/N: Credit to Renowned-Wolf for helping with a couple things.

Episode opens on Charlie narrating the origins of Heaven and Hell.

Charlie soberly looks out the window to Pentagram City burning to the ground, just as Vaggie comes into the room.

Vaggie: Charlie?

The key Charlie is holding transforms into Keekee who scampers away, and Charlie turns to Vaggie in surprise.

Charlie: Aah! Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?

Vaggie: Uh, yeah. I was right there.

Vaggie points her thumb to the doorway.

Charlie: Sorry. I get pre-tty worked up after an extermination happens. The story helps...

Vaggie: (chuckles) Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay? (sits down with Charlie)

Charlie: I'm fine. Just... thinking, ya' know? Family stuff.

Vaggie: Did you hear from your mom?

Charlie shakes her head in dismay.

Vaggie: Oof... how long has it been now?

Charlie: Not that long, only...seven....years, off doing something important, I'm sure! But, this kingdom was something she really cared about. Something I care about.

Vaggie: Well, at least you're not alone.

Charlie: I just hope that what I'm trying to do here will work.

Vaggie: It will. I have faith in you.

KeeKee leaps into Charlie's arms as Vaggie stands up.

Vaggie: Alright, come on. Alastra says she has something to show us. (walks out the room)

As Vaggie leaves, a loud bell rings throughout the city, and Charlie turns to the Bell Tower at Heaven Embassy. She looks on with sadness, knowing that it's another year before the Extermination comes again.

Cut to a shoddily made commercial filmed by Alastra

Alastra: (through commercial) Well, hello there, you wayward Sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five months ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!

Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here we offer fun things, such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our two only residents, one of whom is far more charming than the other!

Angel flips her off while you awkwardly smile and wave at the camera.

Alastra: (through commercial) Wow! All this, and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!