The Human in Hell (new version)

Harvest Moon Festival (slight 18+)

A/N: Credit to Renowned-Wolf for helping with a few things.

Scene opens up to a sunlit exterior of Stolas' mansion. A sigh of contentment from Stolas  is heard. Blitzo is shown lighting a cigar on Stolas' bed and folds his arms behind his head.

Stolas: *arms tied up* I'm sorry for having to move our little rendezvous early. I have an engagement this month on the full moon.

Stolas is shown wearing a ball gag and harness, his hands tied to the headboard with rope.

Blitzo: When this happens, it's not really something I fuss about...

He uses the cigar to burn rope, freeing Stolas, who takes Blitzo's cigar from him and takes a long drag of it.

Blitzo: But, do you really need the book for this farm bullshit? I have, like, fifteen new clients waitin' for heads to roll.

Stolas: As shocking as it may seem, Blitzy, my grimoiiiiire is actually incredibly important. And it isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty Imps like yourself.

Stolas puts out the cigarette in one of Blitzo's horns and pinches his cheek before Blitzo shoves him away.

Stolas: The Harvest Moon Festival is a very special occasion! It's been my annual duty to showcase it in the Ring of Wrath. It's celebrated by a very charming little festival with the locals.

Blitzo pulls a feather out of his mouth in disgust.

Blitzo: Wrath, huh? Some of my employees are from there. I've never really been. I hear it's full of inbred chucklefucks.

A/N: Except the time you stole Verosika's car and maxed her credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons.

Stolas: *sits up* Oh! Why don't you all join me at the festival? I can guarantee you all...

Stolas pulls the covers over his head and his head appears near Blitzo's crotch.

Stolas: ...special access~ *chuckles*

Blitzo: Look, I told you, we're not bodyguards. Okay? That was a one-time thing we did badly.

Stolas stands up with the covers on his head. He does a playful owl head tilt.

Stolas: Via and I thought Y/N did rather well. I'm simply offering a work-free day of fun! I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. It's the same every year.

Blitzo: Well if you promise this isn't some fuck fest invite, it does sound like it could be a blast and a half. Plus, it's not like we can do jack shit without your book anyway.

Stolas: (baby-talk voice) Aww, I'm sowwy your clients will have to wait...

Blitzo: *waves a dismissive hand* Oh, fuck my clients!

Moxxie and Millie's apartment is revealed under a Robo-Fizz sign. Moxxie and Millie are asleep in their bed. Moxxie's phone lights up and a Phantom of the Opera organ ringtone is heard. Moxxie taps the phone and rolls over. The phone rings again. In annoyance, Moxxie grabs the phone and sits up.

Moxxie: What do you want, sir?

Blitzo: Hey, hope I didn't wake ya, Mox! How would you and Mils like to visit the Wrath Ring for some harvest bullshit this year?

Millie sits up in excitement.

Millie: The Harvest Moon Festival?! Yee-fuckin'-haw!