Summary: You seek help for your mental health at a institution that offers a 6 month program. Will Kate wait for you, despite you having said that she can move on?
Warnings: Reader deals with mental health issues, mentioned anxiety and depression. Angst.
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You've been struggling with mental health issues for a long time now, but lately your anxiety and depression have been getting worse again. Taking your medicine doesn't seem to have any effect and it's making you very easily agitated. You're noticing yourself sinking away, and messing up in your relationship more and more. While struggling to take care of yourself, it feels impossible to also be there for Kate. It's not like you don't want to, you're just unable to.
It had never been this bad and you knew that you needed help, you had done some research and found a program a couple of cities over. It was a mental health institution that focussed on long term mental issues, they offered psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors to help with medication, among many other things that you felt like you might need on your journey on getting better.
Now came the part where you had to tell Kate. You were not looking forward to the conversation but you know you had to do it sooner or later. Kate sat down with you at the kitchen table while you explained the struggles you've been facing. "I need help Kate, I can't keep going like this." You could see that Kate was trying to stay strong, she had noticed things weren't going well of course, and she had tried to support you to the best of her abilities. She didn't know it had gotten this bad though. The two of you had a big conversation on your options. But you had your heart set on being alone and getting professional help.
"I don't want to lose you, but if I keep going like this, I know I will. I need to get this help, it's a six month program. One of the program's rules is no outside contact." Next came the part of the conversion that you were dreading. " I love you, Kate, but I don't want you to wait around for me, that wouldn't be fair. I want you to live your life Kate, and if that means you're moving on from me, that's okay." It hurt you to say that but like you said, you hadn't been good for her and who knows if the program would even help you get better. You couldn't ask her to wait for you, to see if you'd get back to the loving girlfriend you had been before. Kate knew better than to argue with you when you had your mind set on something. With tears streaming down her face she let you know that she understood. "When are you leaving?" You didn't want to hurt her more, which is why you signed yourself up right away. "I'm leaving tonight. There's a bus that leaves at 9pm." Kate was quiet for a moment. "Please let me drive you?" You nod in agreement, "Okay."
You say your goodbyes as she hands you your bags. Kate is about to turn back around to her car when you take her hand and pull her into a hug. "I'm sorry." You say barely above a whisper. As you're walking towards the entrance Kate calls after you, "Take care of yourself please." You freeze in place, that's the point you can no longer hold back your tears. "You too." You say without turning back around. You open the door and walk to the reception desk to officially sign in.
** SIX MONTHS LATER **
After six months of therapy, hard work and lots of group sessions, you finally felt like you were starting to be yourself again. You were happy, for the most part at least. You were scared to go back to your old life without having Kate by your side, but you would have to get used to that. You packed up all your stuff, including all of the journals and workbooks you had used during your stay, and headed out the door.
You looked around wondering in which direction the bus stop was, since you didn't end up taking it on the way there, when your eyes landed on a familiar car. You couldn't believe what you saw when you moved your eyes over a bit more and saw Kate sitting on a nearby bench. You rushed to her, hoping that maybe she hadn't given up on you after all, though she could also be here as a friend of course, so you rushed with caution.
Kate stood up when she saw you heading her way. The smile on her face and love in her eyes was enough for you to know that your hope wasn't misplaced. You drop your bags and run the last few feet. You ran right into her arms, a place you missed so dearly. Her smell surrounded you and immediately made you feel like you were home. You held each other in silence for a long time. "I missed you so much." Kate whispered, breaking the silence. You felt your eyes welling up with tears, "I missed you too."
After a long time you break the hug. "Can I take you home?" Kate asks nervously. You smile at her, "Yes please." The drive home is quiet, both just enjoying being in each other's presence again. Back home you sit down on the couch, Kate sits down with you. "I guess we've got some things that we need to talk about, right?" You nod and grab one of your notebooks.
"Well, first off, I guess I should ask where we stand. You know, since I told you moving on would be okay." Kate takes no time to respond to your question, "I am with you through the bad and the good, moving on was never an option. I think we might need to work on some things, but in my eyes it's still you and me." You're relieved to hear her say that. "To me too. And yeah, on the topic of working on things. I will continue to have weekly therapy sessions, and if you're up for it I would like you to join me for a few." Kate nods, "Of course." You continue, "I need to pick up my new meds tomorrow and start on them right away, as well as log my thoughts and stuff like that. But that is for me personally, I know you were talking more about us related things. That's where the notebook comes in. I have gotten lots of tips and exercises we could do to improve our communication on these harder topics, and the improvement from my side of course. Besides that I am open to whatever you want and need. I want to ensure that I won't hurt you like I did again."
Together you read through the provided exercises, before sharing stuff from your time spent apart. When you're all caught up Kate turns to you again. "There's one thing I've been wanting to ask you ever since I saw you walk up to me." - "What's up? You can ask me anything."
"Can I kiss you?" Your lips curl up into a smile. Instead of answering her question with words you place your hand on her cheek and lean forward. Your lips meet hers, and the familiar feeling of her soft lips engulfs your senses. It was a soft kiss filled with longing. Once you parted from the kiss you stayed close to her, "I love you, Kate. Thank you for everything, it means the world to me." Kate starts playing with your hair, an action that always soothes you, "I love you too." "Can we order some pizzas?" Kate smiles "Oh, yes, for sure!"
