Ninjago one shots (Jaya)

Smoke: Pt2 🖤

This is a second part to my Smoke story. I had some trouble with a second part but was suggested by jreyes773737 for this idea. Again trigger warning for addiction and this time vulgar language. I love this concept because it explores my idea of how deep his trauma and feelings go. Also his resentment. Enjoy.

Jay's POV:
I can't believe them. None of them understand. For the most part I don't want them to understand I just want them to leave me alone just kidding that's what happened. They treat me like I'm fragile but never ask how I'm doing. Not that I want them to. I honestly don't know anymore.
I'm the same person I was before and after. Now they care? I mean do they? I sound ungrateful but I just want to be left alone. I grab the bottle from behind my bed. I still can't believe Nya hasn't found it. It doesn't matter though, I signed myself up for a program. I took the initiative. All my friends did was take away my stuff and let things go on. Not that I mind but at least give me my stuff back. Anyways,
I find alcohol revolting but again it's Nadakhan's little parting gift. Not to mention how it calms my nerves after a long day. Kind of makes me forget the longing for cigarettes.
I pop open the lid and take a swig of the long awaited drink of rum. I grimace as the liquid touches my lips but then have a sigh of relief. Thank the fsm.
"Jay?" I hear Zane call out my name. I groan. Can't I have a moment to myself?" Short answer no.
"Be right there," I say trying not to slur my words. I'm not drunk, unfortunately, but exhausted. Wu said the way to battle addiction is training. Yeah fuck that.
I've been more and more heated lately. Why can't they understand? Wait- I'm not doing this again. I went to my mirror and pulled at my eyes bags. Yikes. Well, I've looked worse.
I throw on my gi. And stumble out. Again, not because I'm drunk, just lack of motivation to see the same people I see every day.
"Morning," I say flatly entering the kitchen. "How'd you sleep?" Zane asked softly. "Those three minutes were fantastic," I say sarcastically.
The ninja all looked at me with concern. "Don't look at me like that," I said to no one in particular. "I know it's been hard," Zane comforted. I stuck my finger in my mouth displaying my disgust for his sympathy.
"Fsm Jay, show a little respect," Cole scolded. "You should go back to bed. Get some rest." I shook my head discontentedly. "Nope. No can do. Training is the way to free myself of addiction," I said over optimistically. "That's the spirit Jay," Zane cheered on. I didn't respond. He made it too easy to be a dick to.
"I'm glad to see your seeing improvement Jay," Master Wu said entering with his cup of tea.
I hadn't looked up at anyone really. Even when I was mimicking disgust I kept my head down. I looked up and the ninja backed away. "Take a picture it'll last longer," I murmured.
Nya took my shoulders. "Jay your eyes!" "Don't they just sparkle?" Nya narrowed her eyes at me. "Excuse me? Gosh Jay, have you been drinking?"
The ninja now looked at me in shocked and...anger? "I wouldn't count a sip as drinking. I was planning on it but thanks to Zane it no happen."
"Have you lost your mind?" That was said by everyone in the room. "Yeah a long time ago. Nice to see you care now. Wait I'm just bringing you all down now. My bad. That's your jobs. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pack."
They all got up. "For what?" "Recovery."
I left heading to my room. "Jay wait." "Why didn't you tell us?" How do answer this? Kai was looking straight at me. I thought back to when he was taken by Nadakhan that was my fault. I didn't blame him.
Zane, it was his fault for trying to outsmart the djinn. I've grown cold to the idea as I've let the trauma simmer within me.
"I needed this. Without anyone's opinions of what's best."
That was kind of true but not really. "I'm not bringing you guys into my problems anymore. I learned that lesson. I'll be back probably in a while."
They all looked so sad. Why didn't I feel bad? Why did that feel good? Was it because I blame them. I know it's not their fault but I feel that it is.
"Jay please talk to us. It's not fair for you to leave and just leave with us alone worried."
"Fair? Don't talk to me about fair." "Tell us what's going on?" Cole asked a bit hurt. "I mean you guys got to escape not me. You guys judged me for the exact same thing I did. You only felt sorry when you did it yourself." "What the hell are you talking about?" Kai asked interjecting. Nya cut passed him. "Jay, why didn't you talk to me about this?" "Well, one: you never asked. Two: you went through so much with him. I'm seen as whiny anyways. Don't want to add to that."
Nya took me in her arms abruptly. "Please forgive me, you had to be strong because the rest of thought we were smart. You had to take abuse and learn a lesson someone should never have to learn. And I am so sorry it's taken all of this to see how hurt you really are."
That was a lot. I hugged her back. I then softly pushed her away and took a deep breathe. "For so long I kept these feelings in. And now I blame all the people I love because of it. This wasn't anyone's fault here. I just have so much resentment I need to release. Thats why I have to go. So I won't see my only friend as a cigarette or a bottle."
The room was quiet. So quiet I could hear everyone's heart beat. It was quiet before the ninja unanimously pulled me into a hug. There was no talking, just calm silence. That's all I needed.
...
I stopped in front of the treatment center. I turned around to see my friends smiling at me. "Do something for yourself for once bluebell," Cole said gruffly holding back a smile. "Maybe learn to actually cook while I'm gone."
"Don't rush. It'll give me time to beat your high score," Lloyd smiled. "In your dreams green bean." He gave me a hug. "Seriously in your dreams.
After my goodbyes I bade goodbye to Nya. "I'll see you when you get back," she smiled holding back a few tears. "Nya I'm-" "Don't. Don't be sorry. Please? As much as I'm going to miss you. I miss you being happy, real happy." She kissed me on the cheek.
"I love you Jay Walker." "Now that's a sweet goodbye." "Not a goodbye, just see you later alligator." "After a while crocodile."
I waved goodbye as my friends smiled.
I'm going to be okay...
:)