Chapter 37
Success
I don't want him to be kind to me, I'm already falling, if he continues being like this I don't know where I'll see myself.
"He has a family, Aruna," I reminded myself. My heart is beating faster, just like the usual feeling I feel because of him. I want to remind myself. I want to rebuild my wall, he started climbing the day I saw him again.
It is not hard to like him, it's easy. What's not easy is stopping it, stopping it from falling even deeper. Deeper that you can no longer see yourself, where all that's left to do is wish the stars for the two of you to be together, again. And right now, I can't see myself craving for his love again. He has a family. He has a family. He has a family!
Why does he have to have a family?
I just wished he never found another girl, it's obvious he hasn't moved on yet!
"Girl, Okay ka lang?" A co-worker asked. Napansin niyang padabog kong nilagay ang basong iniinuman sa lamesa.
"Ay! Sorry may iniisip lang," I said to my other co-workers who were watching me. "Pasensya na, medyo hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko, I should go rest in the room again"
"Taray, englishera si bakla"
"Sige, sabihan mo lang kami kung kailangan mo ng tulong sa kung ano"
"Salamat" Inubos ko ang iniinom na kape at tumayo na para umalis.
I spent the whole day in the room. I didn't eat lunch, and now dinner. I decided to skip those since I don't feel I have an appetite right now, especially, since he is making me feel something annoying again!
I should just leave.
Kinuha ko ang bag at unti-unting niligpit ang mga gamit. I don't want to stay here anymore, forget work, he's here.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses ako tumigil para huminga. Nang matapos magligpit ay handa na akong umalis, now I just need to wait for my co-workers, I need to at least bid my goodbyes to them right? After this, I'm not going back to my work anymore.
Kukunin ko ang mga gamit ko sa apartment, I'll resign from Yumi's restaurant, and I'll start again. Ulit. Magsisimula na naman ulit ako. I always feel like failing whenever he's around. I don't want to be a failure, I'm done being a failure. If running away is the only thing I can do to be far away from him, then okay I'll ride to go to another unfamiliar city. Again.
Binuksan ko ang pino upang lumabas pero nagulantang ako ng makita si Philia. She was shocked by me forcefully opening the door. Mas lalo pa siyang nagulat ng makita ang malaking bag ko.
"You're leaving?" Tanong niya.
"I- uh- I'm" I'm stuttering, I don't know what to say. "Yup, I'm leaving" Ano naman ngayon sa kanya? Bakit kailangan kong kabahan?
"Why?"
"Uh- I will- Uhm- What are you doing here anyway?" It's only on the second floor. I'm sure her room is way up.
"Napadaan lang," She said, clearly a lie because her eyes twitched. "Since nakita kita, Why don't we eat dinner first? Medyo malayo ang bahay mo dito, sigurado akong gugutumin ka sa byahe"
"I need to go na eh"
"Talaga? Dinner is important mamaya kana umalis, isang oras lang, please?" napalitan akong tumango. "yehey! let's go down!" kinuha niya ang aking kamay at hinila, nabitawan ko ang bag sa sahig, at hindi pa maayos ang pag sarado ko ng pinto.
Hawak niya lang ang kamay ko hanggang makarating kami sa restaurant.
Tatakbo na nga ako para takasan siya eh, bakit parang hinihila pa rin ako sa kanya?
BINABASA MO ANG
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