Chapter 38
Peace
The waves knew how much I wanted to rest. As I go deeper the waves are getting slower, and mellower, and I let my body feel the serene feeling of the waves hugging me.
How I wish these waves were you.
I want to lay down, I want to let the wave decide which island it wants me to go to.
I'm jealous and insecure. And it's all my fault. Kung may narating man sila sa buhay, it's because they all worked hard for it. Meanwhile, It was already late when I decided to do something for my future. I was doing nothing for several years. Just living in a place that I'm unfamiliar with.
Kahit noong nag simula muli akong mag-aral ay medyo huli na rin. I'm the oldest in my class, kung may mas matanda man sa akin ay pangalawang degree na ang kinukuha nila. I'm falling behind, far behind.
Hindi ito ang inaakala kong buhay ko. I was aiming for something better. Something that wasn't like this.
These waves are comforting right now, how I wish they could wash away my worries and insecurities.
"Aruna!" Sigaw nang isang pamilyar na boses. I didn't budge. Kahit na ng naramdaman ko itong tumakbo sa tubig at papalapit sa akin.
Aello was able to do it, he was successful after everything that happened to him. Mas malala pa nga 'yung sa kanya eh, but why am I still here? at the bottom.
Maybe because I'm not going to be successful. The heavens didn't want me to.
"Aruna!? What the hell!" Pinilit niya akong harapin siya.
His eyeglasses got wet, and His suit too. At ang hawak niyang cellphone ay tuluyan niya ng binitawan sa tubig.
I wonder if it is hard for him to see behind those wet glasses.
"Bakit?" Walang ganang sagot ko.
Ang dalawang kamay niya ay pinulupot niya sa aking mga braso. He was breathing heavily, his eyes almost looked like it was hurting. And then there I noticed, how his hands shake around my arms, and how hard he tries hard to avoid my eyes.
Unti-unting namuo ang mga luha sa kanyang mga mata. His eyes were red. And a few moments of silence later, I heard his sobs. Napayuko siya. His Body is shaking, and he's suppressing his tears.
Muntik na akong maniwala.
"Bakit?" Tanong ko.
He didn't answer.
"Sir-Attorney, tapos na po ba ang party niyo sa loob?" I asked. Hindi siya nag salita but his head moves, and he shakes his head. "Edi, bumalik na po kayo"
"What are you doing here?" Tanong niya. His tone sounds mad, but his touch is soft as if I'm the most delicate thing he's holding. "Aruna, what are you doing here?" Ulit niya sa tanong. The anger is visible.
"Night swimming lang po," I answered politely.
"Stop it," He paused and stared at me. "Bumalik na tayo, or let's just swim at the pool, please"
"Bakit? Okay, lang ako dito, Ael- Attorney" I'm always reminded that he is different now. "Bumalik na po kayo" It's like a sin to call him by his name.
"Let's go back together, please" May pagsusumamo sa kanyang boses. "I can't leave you here. Hindi ngayon na nakita kitang umiyak kanina. I can't let you go now. I couldn't. I shouldn't. Kaya please, Let's go, Aruna" It's so soft, his voice.
"Okay lang po talaga ako dito, you can go first, Sir" Pilit niyang hinihila ang aking kamay pabalik sa taas. I didn't let him, pilit kong binabawi ang sarili. "Dito lang po ako!"
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