On Purpose

~5~

     I scratched off checking in on my dad on the list. still wouldn't talk to him, and I didn't ask what they fought about.
    I never got to go to the pizza place down on Edgewood. I was pretty tired after having to set my only client to the side, so there wasn't much for me to do besides check on him and go home. I wasn't in the mood for pizza anyway.
    I sat my keys on the table in my kitchen and sat on one of the chairs. I had no idea what to do now. I'd be so worn out I'd collapse on the couch and wouldn't wake up until my dad call me and tell me he needed me to go out and get something for him before I go back to work.
    I ran my fingers through my hair and my mind went back to Jessie. I wanted to puke at the thought of her, but the thoughts came in easily.
    Her smile, her voice, her hugs that I told her I hated. There were pros and cons of dating her. But I can't help but have a hole in my heart, wanting her.
    I laid my head on the table and groaned so loud my throat vibrated which left an itchy sensation afterwards.
    I straightened up again and sighed. I closed my eyes and took in the smell of my house; emptiness.
     When my eyes opened again, I had the thought of Jessie again. I pulled my phone out and to my surprise I hadn't deleted her number from my phone. I let my finger hover over her name. It's still saved under, The Girlfriend.
    I sighed and closed my eyes and looked down at the table, as the phone rang three times...than four. I told myself if it ran six times, I'd just hang up. But on the fifth ring, the sound of banging and a loud buzzing sound filled my ear.
    "Hello?" Her voice sounded softer. Like she's been crying.
    I let my mouth fall open, but no words came out. I kept telling myself to say something, but I couldn't. I didn't want her to think I missed her, which I didn't. I didn't miss her at all. I miss not being alone.
    The thought of sitting on the couch, watching The Notebook twenty seven more times, alone, was sickening. I couldn't handle being alone another night.
     "Hey, Jess, it's umm...it's me, Oliver." I felt the same itchy sensation in my throat when I finally spoke up.
    "Olly?" Yes, did you delete my number? Or do you not read the caller Id before answering your phone?
    "Yeah, it's me." Unless she didn't hear me clearly when I said it was Oliver, or she couldn't believe that it was me calling her. I don't blame her, I would be shocked myself to hear from the guy I broke up with.
    "How's it going?" Did she really just ask me that? How's it going?
     I should've said, "Oh, after you ripped my heart out on the day Jesus—our lord and savior was born, I felt like I was on cloud nine! My heart is broken into pieces but I'm at a strip club blowing my money away." Instead I said, "Great, I landed another client, so I've been pretty busy." Even though I lost a client and won't be busy for probably a week, I made it sound believable.
    "Oh, that's great, I'm happy for you, I really am." I cleared my throat, trying to get the itchy feeling away.
    "What are you doing right now?" It took a while for her to respond.
    "I'm with a friend."
    "A friend?" Jessie has a few of those, I haven't even gotten to meet the one who slept with her brother in her room when their parents were gone.
    "Yeah, Jennifer, the girl who quotes Albert Einstein?" I hated that friend, she told me, "You never fail until you stop trying," when all I said was it too cold out to try and fix Jessie's car.
     "Oh, her." My tone got dark when I said her.
    "What's up?" She asked, her voice brighter now than it was when she picked up the phone.
    "I'm just calling to check up on you." I lied.
    "That's really sweet, I thought you hated me." I do.
    "I don't, you deserve better than me. I'm still hoping we can be friends." I cringed at my own words. I sound like a desperate punk right now. Who still chooses to be friends with their ex? That's like eating a lollipop and keeping the stick but never use it.
    "I'd like that. We're almost done with our shopping. Do you wanna come over my place in an hour?" Her place? No way. It's too many memories. Mainly the breaking up part.
    "Can we stop and get a bite to eat instead?"
    "I've already eaten."
    "The park?"
    "Closes at ten, and it's knocking on nine twenty." I closed my eyes, holding back a sigh.
    "How about this, we go to our spot." She suggested, I could hear the smile in her tone, which caused me to smile too.
    "Great, I'll see you in an hour." I say.
    "See you then."