On Purpose

~7~

Isabelle was easy to talk to. She was hard around the edges but soft in the middle, and it mainly depended on what I did or said in order for me to get to the middle.
She let me buy her lunch and we took it to the park nearby.
She opened her sandwich when I ripped open my bag of cheesy Cheetos.
I took a bite and took my time on chewing. I don't know why she made me so self-cautious when I'm around her, it made me wanna find a hole-no matter what size-and climb in and sink into the unknown.
But I was here with her, eating a sub-sandwich and chips at a park in the cold.
"So, why did you and Jessie break-up?" Her question nearly made me choke to death, but I opened my water bottle and took three big gulps. She was taking a bite out of her sandwich when I finished swallowing, I looked at her and cleared my throat.
"It was a simple question, geez."
"I know, but it caught me off guard."
"So?" I pop another chip in my mouth and say, "I didn't kiss her." That's not it, but just the first reason made her laugh. "You're joking, right?" "Shut it, I wasn't finished." Her eyes widened for one second, nothing more, before she turned to take another bite out of her sandwich so I could talk.
"She just wanted to feel love and I didn't give her that. She liked to snuggle and I wouldn't let her because I was always on the game." She looks at me while chewing then turned her attention back to it.
"This sandwich is really good, how's yours?" I look down at my sub and then up at her.
"Do you want it?" She smirks. "Can I?" I slide it over to her and fold my arms on the table.
"When did she break up with you?" She asked, finishing her sandwich off and unwrapping the one I gave her.
"Four days ago." I watch her calculations and wires spinning as she turns her head in my direction when it hit her.
"Christmas?" I nod and don't look at her.
"Damn, I guess she wasn't feeling the Christmas spirit." I look at her with a dumbfounded look which wipes her smile off.
"Sorry." She said blankly and starts to eat her second sandwich.
"Alright, your turn." I say, turning the conversation to her. "Why were you really stocking the shelves on your day off?" I knew something was up, but I didn't wanna press on it, but since we're getting to know each other, I guess it's fine to ask.
She sets her sandwich down, and like me, she opened her water bottle to drink to avoid the question for a while, but I grabbed it. "Don't do that, I was actually thirsty that time."
She takes it back. "So am I. I just ate a whole sandwich with dry bread, I need to quench my thirst." I bit down on my lip hard to keep from laughing. I slide the plastic bottle back to her and watch as she mimics me purposely with the three gulps before setting it back down.
"My mom has cancer." She says, just flat out.
"Oh, I'm sorry." She shrugs.
"I don't give a shit." My eyes widened from her response.
"What?"
"My mom is a druggy, she did nothing but hurt me and my sister. If anything, this cancer thing is a big help." I look down, wishing she was grateful to even have a mother. 'Cause I don't.
When she saw my expression, she softy said, "Oh shit, I'm sorry, is your mom dead?" I shook my head. "If she was, I wouldn't have known." I look up at her and she looks a tad bit uncomfortable.
"Sorry dude." She said and goes back to her sandwich. I shrug it off and close the bag of my chips.
"For this being my first date, it's not so bad." She says into the silence while I fiddle with my fingers and look at her.
"You've never been on a date?" She shakes her head.
"Oh, I'll make this worth it, come on." I ignored her questions and took her by the hand. It was 4:20 and daylight savings was doing its job on making it look like it was time for me to head to bed.
I point to the swings and felt her hand relax in mine. She walks next to me and I immediately let go of her hand, the feelings it gave me were what I was trying to avoid.
"I'll push you." I tell her.
"Wow, this makes up for you hitting me in the face with a door." I smiled warmly and watch her sit on the swing. I walk behind her and felt my shoes deepen into the snow as I gripped the chains of the swing and walks backwards while holding on. She squealed and wiggled her feet.
"Ready?" I yelled to her. "No!"
I let go and heard her screams of delight. When she came back, I pushed her forward again. She laughed and smiled, the smile I saw, when she was with her niece.
"Again?"
"Yeah!" She shouted. I used all my might to push her again, which led her to be in a fit full of laughter. I haven't heard someone laugh as much as her, and I loved it.
I sat on the swing next to her's and moved mine a few times until we're swinging together at the same speed. I'm twenty-five years old and I'm on a teenager like date with a girl who said we're friends now.
We move in sync as we both yell in delight. I've never felt this alive. Not since I found out Mariah Baker had left the school.