Here we are as friends
Or maybe something more sometimes
I love him for some reason
I can't help but wonder...
Where would we be had I not broken up with him?
Where are we at this point now?
What does the future bring for us?
Is this worth dropping everything for?
Is this worth putting all my efforts into?
How do you know you even truly like somebody?
How do I know this isn't me just looking for somebody to comfort me again?
How do I know I'm not just lonely and he's there for me?
I think I've loved a lot of people...
But Ive never been in love.
I think I love him.
But we aren't in love... I don't trust him yet.
Nor does he trust I.
I'm scared.
I'm scared of looking stupid.
Im scared of wasting my time.
Im scared of being completely vulnerable and being rejected because of it again.
Because to look stupid, waste my time, become completely vulnerable just to be rejected would all prove to me something that's been lingering in my mind if I'm gonna be honest...
What if it is a waste of time and what if I'm just not ready to be vulnerable because I'm not where I want to be yet?
What if he's not actually attracted to me?
What if he's just putting up with me?
What if his family begins to hate me?
What if he's just dealing with me as a place holder until he can find somebody better for him?
What if I lose him?
What if, what if, WHAT IF?
Just shut the fuck up with the what if scenarios,
Be yourself.
You can be so cocky. You tell so many people about how great you are yet here you are bashing yourself with fake scenarios instead of allowing things to play out.
Just let it play out.
Any man worth your time and energy will give you reasons to keep coming.
Any man unworthy of your love will reject it weather it be due to stupidity, personal preferences, or other reasons.
So fucking what if he ends up not liking you back?
It's his loss.
You are everything that a woman can and should be.
You are different from these other women.
Very different.
You deserve something very different too.
