I'm so sick and tired of the things I deal w on a daily basis regarding the mood swings certain people in my household have. I'm also feeling more secluded than anyone I know and more secluded than I've also ever been before. My weight impacts me a lot more than I speak about and sometimes I get anxious about leaving the house because I hate the way I look and my clothes don't fit how they used to. I want healthy relationships so bad but I also know that I have so much work to do on my self for myself and my own future that developing any kind of relationship right now would likely just result in bad decisions & fall outs that will hurt me all over again. It's been 2 years since I've had friends.... It's been 9 months since I've dated anyone.... But at least I've been sober since September, cut off all the toxic relationships, been going to therapy, been showing up to more doctors appointments, and am getting through school about to start a new job in my field of study.... I know the road ahead of me will be even lonelier and as much as I'd like to say I'm prepared for it, it will be hard. Im learning more and more each day that I am truly alone in this life regardless of how many people are around me.
