𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓮

09| circles

DIANE

The ambulance pulled up to the hospital, the sirens blaring. The paramedics rushed Isaak into the emergency room, his body limp and unresponsive.

The hospital staff rushed to prepare him for treatment. They moved quickly and efficiently, the scene a blur of activity. But as they worked, something seemed to shift in the air, a feeling of hope mixed with dread.

He was going to be ok.  I kept telling myself.

Hours and hours had passed, and I was pretty sure it was past 1 am.

A part of me didn't understand why I was here and why all of this happened to me so suddenly. ..

But I wasn't leaving until I heard he was ok

□□□

I felt like I was in a dream, unable to fully grasp what was happening. I saw the hospital staff working on Isaak, but it all seemed surreal. I felt numb, my mind spinning, unable to make sense of anything. And then, I saw him, and everything came rushing back. I rushed to his side, my heart pounding in my chest.

I could hear the sound of my breath, shallow and rapid. I reached out to touch him, but stopped myself, afraid of what I might find.

I later realized I was never going to get the information I wanted about Isaak unless I worked inside so worked inside

As I stood there, dressed in my nurse uniform, I looked down at Isaak's chart. I read through it, my hands shaking. His injuries were severe, more severe than I could have imagined. But then, I saw something else, something that made my heart skip a beat.

I looked up from the chart, my eyes meeting Isaak's. He looked at me with confusion.

I read he'd out to touch Isaak's hand and felt his skin; cold but it was real and he was conscious. 

I looked into his eyes and saw something I hadn't expected - trust. A small smile appeared on my face and I said,  "You're going to be okay. I'm going to make sure of it." He didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke for him.

I felt like I could breathe again.

Tears of joy welled in my eyes as my eyes scanned over his wounded body but I bit my lip, trying to keep them from spilling over.

Suddenly,  the door opened. The brunette woman's voice was soft and gentle.

I felt like I was watching a movie, rather than experiencing the moment myself. The woman hugged Isaak, her eyes filled with worry and concern.

When she spoke, her voice was filled with love. "Hi honey," she said, her eyes never leaving Isaak's face. "I'm here. I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner."

My heart skipped a beat. Who was this woman? Why was she calling Isaak 'honey'? A million questions swirled through my mind, but I couldn't ask any of those when the woman turned to look at me, her eyes full of questions. But before u could say anything she spoke.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" she asked, her voice unsteady. The woman looked surprised for a moment, then her expression softened. "I'm Yulia," she said, her voice calm and reassuring. "Isaak's... girlfriend and you are?"

My jaw clenched. "Diane. His... nurse,"

I felt like the floor had disappeared beneath me. Yulia. Isaak's girlfriend. A million thoughts raced through my mind.

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut and I chuckled.

He lied.

I walked out of the hospital room, without saying another word, I could feel the tears threatening to spill over.

I made my way to the parking lot, my head spinning. I needed to get out of here.

As I got into my car, I could feel the jealousy building up.  I tilted my head back, not liking this feeling. I barely knew this guy for a month and he already had me spinning in circles.

How could a guy like him be single, Diane? I thought, the image of him appearing in my head.

I drove away from the hospital, my thoughts whirling. So many questions ran through my mind, but the one that kept coming back was: why? Why had he lied to me? He barely knew me.

As I drove, I realized that I was lost, both literally and figuratively. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was going to do next. All I knew was that I needed to get away from it all, from him. So I kept driving, not sure where to.

But anywhere far from him would do me good. Or so I thought.

I needed to get away because this feeling was the last thing I needed right now. Whatever I felt, deepened every time I laid my eyes on him and I was just sinking in deeper. He had my head in circles and I didn't like it.

So I made sure that that was the last time I had ever seen him.

Even if my heart begged for the opposite.