Burning Flames (Chicago Fire Fan-fiction) - Under Editing

Chafter 52: Jordan and Three Bells

Friday/Day of Jordan's funeral
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Gabby's POV
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Shay finishes tucking my hair in my cap, and we stand up from the locker room bench. I take a deep, shaky breath then say, "Shay... Shay, I don't know if I can do this. I have to give a speech at the bells ceremony, and I don't know if I can do it. Her father..."
"Is going to be proud you are there. Gabby, you were one of her closest friends. I know that you and Otis are both going to give a speech at the ceremony after the viewing. I know it's going to be hard, but, babe, you are going to kill it. Come on, we need to get outside. Be careful of the ice." Shay tells me as she pulls her white gloves on.
I nod, but I'm not so sure about how I am going to make it through this. I walk outside with Shay where the firefighters are gathering in assemble. Shay and I take our places as Severide, Casey, and Boden come out last.
We stand at attention until Chief Boden calls, "As you were."
In synchronization Fire House 51 moves so our feet are shoulder width apart and our hands are placed, folded, at the small of our backs. Citizens and firefighters alike are lining the mile long area for Jordan's funeral parade. We see the black hurst turn the corner, and come out way. Chief Boden calls, "Present. Arms."
We move in synchronization again and with a solemn mood falling even farther over the crowd, we salute. As the parade passes I have to control my breathing, and focus on holding back my tears. I was the cause of this, and this made it all final. This was all even more final now.
As the hurst passes by me tears silently slip down my cheeks. I don't sob, or whimper, my expression never changes from the expression of sadness and grief all of us wear. I do not frown, my face is the solemn neutrality of my house, but I cry. The tears slowly slipping down my cheeks. My vision blurs for a minute, but I don't break my stance to wipe my eyes, I just blink a couple of times to clear my vision as tears continue to slip down my cheeks.
After the funeral parade passes Chief Boden calls out, "At ease."
We relax. We don't move in synchronization like before. We all move slowly, with the weight of Jordan's memory and the fact she is gone upon us. We slowly climb on to our rigs and join the funeral parade along side Chief Jones' Fire House.
When I sit down in my seat I quickly pull my gloves off, and wipe the tears away that were slipping down my cheeks.
Nobody says anything for awhile. Then, after about ten minutes Severide turns around and with a heaviness to his voice that everyone had had since we all arrived at the house asks, "Dawson, are you alright?"
"Yes." I say looking out the window.
"You sure? You barely held up through the funeral parade." He says again in the same heavy and tired tone.
"I'm fine. It's just hard for me." I say looking at him.
"I know. It'll get better." He says patting my knee like Herman would have done if I was with Truck right now.
"I hope so..." I say as we pull up to the Church.
We get out and walk over to where Chief Boden stands talking to Chief Jones. I look around as we wait for the Chiefs to finish talking and I pull on my gloves.
There are at least a hundred people here. Jordan's family, friends, her fire house, Chief Jones' fire house, the big whigs from headquarters, all of our fire house's families, and all of Chief Jones' fire house's families. That was a lot of people, but most would dissipate after the viewing when we would go back to Fire House 51 and have the Three Bells Ceremony. I was supposed to give a speech here and at the Three Bells Ceremony. I would be right after Chaplain Rolinski, even her father went after me, and he had planned this.
Fire House 51 walks in and we sit on the front two rows of center pews in the church.
After everybody settles in Chaplain Rolinski steps up to the podium above Jordan's open casket. I could see her now, not even standing. She was dressed in her uniform dress and had her white gloves hands folded across her stomach. Her eyes were closed, and she looked peaceful, like she might be asleep if weren't for her being in a casket.
"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of one of Chicago Fire Department's firefighters, Jordan Jones. I did not know her as some of you knew her. She and I talked every few weeks about her job. She believed she was truly blessed as to have had this family. To be able to call the CFD home was something she wanted so badly. She got that, and she made many friends along the way, but none more so than Fire House 51 first watch. That was her shift, and she loved them. Now, I could tell you a lot about her, but not more than her partner, Gabriela Dawson. Gabriela trained her while she worked at Fire House 51, teaching her how that fire house specifically was more like a family than any other house in Chicago. That is why Jordan loved it. Every time she and I would talk she would always tell me how she loved her family at 51's. Now, I am going to give the floor to Brian Schelvochski and Gabriela Dawson. They have prepared a song for this." The Chaplain's speech is short and quick.
He gives the floor to Otis and I as we stand and walk up on the stage. He picks up his guitar and sits on the stool they had provided as I take the microphone in my hands and say, "This song is called 'For You' by Keith Urban and was a song that Jordan wanted Brian and I to play if she ever died before us, so here we go."
Otis starts playing and I sing the lyrics,