insane for you

495 7 16
                                    

did you miss me? I know you missed me

who wouldn't? it's been a long time of being on this beach now don't really know how long but popes counted the days and it's added up to be about a month so yeah that's long time

Oh and guess what I have a fucking baby bump I look fat and it's not even funny anymore I don't get anyone who dose this why would u make yourself fat just to have a human who annoys u, ruins your sleep schedule and takes your money?
Who came up with this idea? oh right god yeah well god hates me clearly got plenty of evidence

don't know what I did to him or even her who says god can't be a woman? if so then she's getting a bitch slap for all this shit she's putting me through

anyways I am laying in jj arms right now as he sleeps peacefully but I haven't slept in days I can't sleep..I don't know I have been too stressed

jj has hardly spoken to me since we have been on the beach it's just been physical touch the whole time

no words just holding me, kissing me, hugging me, holding my hand, stroking my waist, tucking my hair behind my ear, wiping my tears and never taking his eyes off me but like I said still no words

is it now that we are finally engaged he doesn't wanna be but he doesn't know how to tell me?

it's only me he isn't speaking to so it's something to do with me cause he hasn't stopped talking to kiara or the others but mostly kie..and I mean i don't know why or what it is but somethings going on she is acting different with him I can see it with my own eyes but it's not anything like that because they hardly go near each other but it's just the way she looks at him it is the same way I look at him

but still he's only looks at me..like when I'm looking at him and he's looking at me she's looking at him? I don't know
all I do  know is jay only has his eyes for me because he's dosent fucking take his eyes off me, he monitors my every move like he's scared I'm gonna kill myself or something since he did this exact same thing after I tried to kill myself before there was no words but never taking his eyes off me

I had a hunch kiara liked him way back before me and jay got together but now there's no way she would do that to me...right?

"hales" jj says making me snap out of my thoughts and look to him in complete confusion but happiness

"why are you looking at me like that?" he says as I scoff

"are you kidding? you haven't spoke to me in ages god knows how long" I say as he sighs with a nod

"I know I'm sorry I just scared anything I say could scare u away from us getting married" he says as I kiss him softly

"well I'm glad I've got my boy speaking again and jay I promise nothing is gonna make me not wanna marry you now" I say as he smiles kissing me back

"you know if pope or jhon b or anyone here had a licence to marry us I would marry you on this beach right now and make it completely official all I've been thinking off is seeing you in a white dress looking so gorgeous" he says as I smile stroking my fingers through his blonde hair as he plants a kiss on my forehead

"are you okay tho I know you haven't been sleeping" he says as I sigh softly

"I just can't sleep I don't know what it is but as soon as I shut my eyes I'm throwing up because of this goddamn baby and I feel terrible cause it wakes you up and then your holding my hair back half asleep and I feel bad for the beach because the poor sand" I say as he chuckles kissing my cheek

"look I don't care about you waking me up hales and I'm sure the beach doesn't mind you throwing up on it all that dose matters is your fine, the baby's fine and we are together" he says as I smile

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