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|79|--- 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎

✵•.✵°✵.。.✰✰.。.✵°✵.•✵

ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ! ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴋɪᴛᴋᴀᴛ!

✵•.✵°✵.。.✰✰.。.✵°✵.•✵

The last exams were today, I am still sitting in the exam hall dreaming and making plans.

Tomorrow was the train to go back home for Christmas. I was just excited to get my phone and bed back. Screw my friends, I can't talk about anime episodes to them, I can't talk about spine chilling murder cases, I don't think they have time to read good story books too and those were my main fields of interest. I was ready to leave!

Then I realised, my piercing.... SHIT! I'M SO DAMN DEAD WHAT WAS I EVEN THINKING? How am I gonna face my mom, I don't think my dad cares. MORE WORSE THAN MY MOM IS MY GRANDPA. I MESSED UP. Maybe I should stay at Hogwarts? NO THAT'S JUST SUSPICIOUS AND MY MOM'S NOT GONNA ALLOW THAT.

I was so tensed about this, and then Leo who was sitting next me whispered to me. "Dude, what's the answer for question 36?" he asked me. "I didn't know either, I think the question is wrong, so free marks" I lied to him. I tried so hard not to laugh, I can't believe he actually believed that. Well that was a nice break, but now, MY PIERCING AHHHHHHH!!!!

I saw two Ravenclaw boys discussing the whole paper. What the hell is the invigilator doing? Oh, wait its Professor Barlow. No wonder. I saw Lorcan and Val looking at each other for the answers for the MCQs. Shameless, cheating in exams, very bad. 

Firstly why are you both even asking each other its not like any of you even know the correct answer.

"Hey, What is for Question 40" Leo asked me. "I didn't write it either" I lied to him. "Then why are you just sitting there and staring at other people, quickly write and tell me the answer!" he whispered quickly. What is the invigilator doing? I bet if I scream the answer, he's gonna think a bird flew across him and leave it off the hook.

The guy behind me was so loud and he told to the Slytherin next to him, "The answer for 10 is (A)". I saw a few student communicating in hand gestures too. Now, I'm regretting why I finished early.

The invigilator eventually woke up and collected our papers when the timer rang. Of course there were people like Potter who had to write something till the very end until the paper got snatched and people like me who could have taken a who damn nap because of finishing the exam quickly. Then the fear of going home slowly crept back into me.

I left the exam hall. I heard a few Ravenclaws saying how they were gonna fail but of course they were lying. Ravenclaws in our year were like super smart. After me and Lily being the best academics wise the whole Ravenclaw batch comes in, they are also super competitive among themselves.

"I hope I pass" Lorcan said. "Dude why were you cheating with Val (I realised how weird that sounds thanks to my dirty mind), its not like he knows anything either" I said. "HEY! I studied this time" Val said. 

I don't know why though, me and Val's been bickering a lot these days its always our mom, Jared maintaining peace. But maybe sometimes I was rude cause I'm basically better than them and I kinda have high ego.

I'm not narcissist though I can assure you that. I don't think I need attention and I definitely don't like boasting myself to others. I just keep boasting me to myself that I'm smart and stuff so that I can make myself feel better, even though that it still doesn't change the fact or help me in getting over disliking myself.

I don't understand why I hate myself, I feel like something is always missing. I feel empty and see nothing ahead of me except me literally doing nothing. I don't understand what all this complex things as life is even for, be brutally honest humans are the reason for most of your problems and the environment. Then why exist? Well yes, we need a balance but then why humans who keep moving the balance and breaking it.

All these kind of stupid questions are the reason why I want to really kill myself. Its's because it doesn't have an answer and I go crazy thinking about all this. I agree I over think a lot but still...

DUDE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME I'M SOOOO DONE WITH MYSELF WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT? I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO TELL MY MOM AND I'M COMPLAINING ABOUT MY OVER THINKING PROBLEMS AND I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY.

"Lysander!" I heard a girl voice behind me it was Jennie. I snapped out of my deep thoughts. "Did you read all the letter I sent you? Why are you not replying?" she asked. I can't deal with this girl also with all that overwhelming thoughts in my brain ARGHHHHH!!!! 

SHOULD I JUST KILL EVERYONE? EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE SOME OR THE OTHER PROBLEM WITH ME. NO, I SHOULD KILL MYSELF. JUST GIVE ME A BREAK. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

"Lysander" I heard Scorpius said and continued, "I'm inviting Albus over to my house, do you think I should invite Rose? Albus says she's not gonna come even if I do but I want your opinion. Lorcan! You should give your opinion too" he finished. "You should totally invite her! It might be a chance!"

"SHUT UP!" I said squinting my eyes. I lost my cool. Breathe Lysander. I took a deep breathe and came back to my resting face. "You insane? You're not even friends, first try to be that then invite her over, don't rush it Malfoy, give her space to breathe" I said. I really need to get a hold of the things in my mind. They are so jumbled, I should take yoga classes and do some meditation maybe.

Me Lorcan and Scorpius went to have a heated conversation with Albus who was already at the great hall. We all sat down and Scorpius started, "I need to now make a plan for being Rose's friend" he said. "You're a nerd so, just join the nerd gang you'll eventually become friends" Albus said. "But-" scorpius started when he was cut off my Rose.

"Malfoy" Rose said angrily looking away from him. "Lily told me you wanted to surprise me some day, so I just came to tell you that don't waste time and maybe save it up for studying or something, if you're bored take up a new hobby" she said and started walking away. Dude we just came out of exam hall why does it seem that I walked into some drama show?

"Rose, I'm not gonna give up until I make you mine" he said firmly and bravely. Bad move bro, you're just starting beef with her. "It's illegal to make her yours, you and her are minors" I explained. "Be more like him" Rose said to Malfoy and left. 

"I think she likes people like Lysander" Albus said. Is Albus stupid? I guess its a Potter thing to be stupid.

"You mean the crazy annoying types who love ruining other people's nice on going relationships" Scorpius said slickly. 

"Rude, but I'll take it as a compliment" I said. "You know what screw all of you, you're conversations are boring me to death" Lorcan said snd continued, "I'm gonna talk to Val" he said and left. "Screw all of you I'm leaving, I'm busy" I said and got up. "Busy with?" Scorpius asked. "My thoughts" I said. 

I wasn't lying, I have to come up with some excuse by the end of the day to tell my mom about the piercing. 

                                                                   XX~𝐿𝓎𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇~XX