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𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 the tune of, 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift as I found myself zoned out in Transfiguration class. Mongrel was just yapping something in the background talking about, 'Feather duster to ferret' I was dozing off, Diana had covered her face behind the textbook and has been sleeping ever since the period had started. Lily on the other hand was a hard worker, she was taking down notes so we could copy it off in the evening.
I honestly feel like I can do better than being the 'Above average kid' . The only problem is that I'm too lazy and sleepy. I also have zero motivation, my only condition is I have to be better than my sister and well, she's pretty much of a loser who does hard work but gains nothing so I easily defeat her.
Look at Lily, she's so pretty, smart and emotionally the most stable and cheerful person, a person of acceptance and happiness. The smile on her face even when the world is burning down. That's a great woman, all I do is just go sob and moan if the slightest shit happens in my life. I'm just too emotional.
Look at Diana, she's so outspoken and can get her feelings out in public and deal with people. I'm too introverted and my social anxiety would never allow it. She has so many friends and people to talk to, even I want friends- or maybe I don't? I don't know, I feel like my life is just a black outs blur and I'm just going on and living for the hope of it all.
I rubbed my tired eyes, I didn't sleep peacefully yesterday, every time I close my eyes I keep getting a vivid image of a creepy as ghost mad woman which Lily was trying to imitate before we went to bed and I don't know why but for the past few days I've just felt so uneasy pressurized by academics and my shitty personal life.
My grades are at an all time low and I can't focus on studying. My mom's health has been pretty bad and my dad's struggling to keep up with the hospital fee and household bills. I can't also go and help him. My sister is just being a pain in the ass as always. I sighed as I adjusted and combed my out of bed brown hair.
I have no scope in life, at least if I looked pretty I would have had the chance of getting a rich husband. At this point, I should just kill myself, there is nothing to live for. "Ms. Garcia, can you repeat my question for Mr. Anderson" Mongrel barked. I was confused, what the hell was even happening. I looked at the board trying to get a hint. "She asked about the hand movement" Lily whispered to me, covering her mouth with her book.
