And is she actually guilty for Karan's death, he asked cautiously. Yes, she is. Actually, we all are somewhere responsible he had to take that drastic step, Tara answered while she kept moving her fingers on his head it seems like she was finding it soothing for herself. You know when someone kills himself, it's not only one person actually responsible for the person's death but many people around him are responsible. His grandfather who wronged him, his mother who let that wrong happen and stayed silence, his wife who blamed him, his sister who didn't bother to hear him when he needed her to hear him, his love who claims to love him the most but never actually try to know his problems. We collectively push him to such an extent that he couldn't take it anymore and he found more relief in death then being around any of us, Tara elaborated and then there is complete silence, complete silence as both didn't know what to say after this.
Tara, tell me your story, Aalekh voice and soft touch on her cheek brought her back and Tara leaned to his touch a little more.
My story, Tara sighed deeply. It is not easy for her to talk about her life, she never did, she never let anyone see her wounds, her scars but then Aalekh is not just anyone. it took her a while to gather the words.
As you know my Mumma died when I was just 2 years old and my Papa thought I was the sole reason of her death and he hated me throughout his life. I got to know that after 2 days of my Mumma's Tehravin, my father left me in railway track to die but my Taiji (wife of father's elder brother) saved me and brought me back, Papa had a huge fight with every elder person of the house, since then my Tauji (father's elder brother) and Taiji took my all responsibility. My Daadaji (grandfather) had thrown Papa out from that house and snatched his every right of being my father, Aah he didn't want that right ever though. Well, it was not that tough for me, when I didn't have my parents, I had my grandparents who loved me, she sighed. Aalekh really wanted to beat the shit out of that man, how can he be so cruel to try to kill his own daughter. He slid other side of bed and pull her to lie down. Tara put her head on his chest and he just wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. He promised himself he will do everything for this little girl, whom he is meeting today.
After 4 years my father returned back with a heavily pregnant lady, all members of the house were so happy and I was too but.... I remembered he didn't even look at me, not for once. After a month she gave birth to my little sister, they named her Khushi, everyone was so happy in the house. Everyone was meeting her, but when I was going to see her, my father pushed me hard. I remembered his words clearly, I don't want this witch anywhere near to my daughter, she said and pressed herself more in his chest like she wanted to save her little self and he kissed her head several times while shading tears silently.
I saw him loving her, playing with her, how happy he was when she took her first step, when he was telling everyone with so much joy that his daughter's 1st word is papa. He celebrated her birthday with great pomp, while he didn't let my grandparents celebrate my birthday. I saw him taking her market, bringing her favourite toys, ice creams, chocolates, everything. He used to treat her like an actual princess, while I was longing for his one look of affection. When sometimes I complained to my Daadi (grandmother), she used to say, he was just upset and if I remain a good girl, he will love me too, well I kept trying my best in everything, I used to study hard, I changed my clothes instantly after coming back to school and never scattered my things around, I never asked anything unnecessary, I used to do everything to get his little affection, I was so young, I didn't know Daadi was giving me just false hopes, I kept hoping everyday and it used to break my heart again and again and again, Tara said and making circles in his chest, Aalekh remembered how she used the same words at the orphanage when she asked the warden not to give false hopes to the children. I got 1st rank in my class I was so happy, I thought now my father will love me. With little excitement and with lot of fears I went to my father. But he just threw me out of his room, without listening my single word, he didn't even try to see my injured arm before shutting the door. Gradually, I understood that he would never love me in this life and I accepted it, Tara's defeated voice, making havoc in his heart. How he wanted to take this little girl away from the presence of that inhuman man.
But his wife was actually nice to me, she sometime used to talk to me, few times she bought me dresses, toys, Chocolates and most importantly she used to talk to me, she used to hear me. But she used to do everything behind my father's back, Aalekh could hear her happy voice and it make him happy at least her stepmother treated her good. She kept doing things for me until the day my father left with his family and that time he left for forever. It was my 8th birthday and she bought a beautiful pink frock for me with same pattern she bought for Khushi, I was so happy because it's first time I was about to celebrate my birthday like other kids do. That day a huge fight took place in the house and at the end my father left the house with his family and never come back after that, Tara said with a distant voice. He pressed her more into him instinctively. But he felt relieved that perhaps she had been happy after the man left.
My Daadaji often got ill since the day and after 2 years my grandfather died and then 6 months later my grandmother too, and the only people who loved me also left me alone and I became a burden to Tauji and Taiji, but they used much sophisticated word 'Responsibility' instead of burden, she said and there he remembered her sudden outburst when he once called her his responsibility and since then he never used the word again.
Did they mistreat you, Did they abuse you?, he asked eagerly hoping her answer in No. Abused?, she laughed slightly making his heart tremble with fear as he anticipated the worst from her this laugh.
They never misbehaved with me, did not even raise their voices on me, they provide me everything which they bought for their children, Aalekh felt a relief spread on his heart, at least she got treated well by her uncle and aunt. Except the love and affection, Tara said and the relief he was feeling a moment ago turned into conjunction.
Rajveer Bhaiya, Rajani Didi and I used to go to the same school, when we return back home Taiji always used to talk to them about their school, studies, friends, sports, everything but it wasn't for me. There is not a single time when they bought something for their children and not for me but when they return back with those bags, they used to sit with their children and used to show them everything with love and sometime they used to take them market with them but it wasn't for me, they just handed me the bag and didn't even wait for me to open it. Everything Taiji cooked, she cooked for all of us but there were often the favourite dishes of their kids but they didn't ever try to know what I like to eat. When their kids do some mistakes, they used to scold them but even this wasn't for me, they never scolded me. When Bhaiya Didi fall sick, Taiji used to wake up whole night with them but when I fall sick, they just gave me medicines and left me in my room. In short, they provide every materialistic thing equally to us three which everyone can see, but I never got a single emotional thing which only they and I can feel. Everyone who comes to our home used to praise them for not doing any discrimination, I felt anger initially but what could I say, they had actually provided everything to me too. Slowly I got confided away of every person and became just like a nodding doll, I just kept nodding to everyone, to everything and everyone thought, I grew up with introvert nature. Tara exhaled heavily after ranting out everything and then took few deep breaths to control herself from breaking down. He could see how hard she was trying to keep her emotions intact.
But latter I had understood I am not their child thus how can they treat me like their own blood. I was just a forced responsibility on them and I should not have asked for more than they already were doing for me, Tara said.
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General FictionSo the story is revolved around 2 alone and broken individuals, both were all alone since their birth but one's loneliness was visible while other's was not. The Story is about the girl who was once all about obedience but only once she didn't obli...
