Sunday Finnegan is the definition of chaotically detailed. She is powered by coffee thanks to her addiction of reading smutty books till 3am, cheerfully goofy and optimistic to a fault.
She's fresh out of Quantico and already has her first big girl...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"I'm glad you called" Jude says taking a seat in his black leather chair, opening his notebook. "What's going on?" He asks and suddenly the flood gates open.
I didn't realize how badly I needed to release these built up emotions until I was sobbing uncontrollably on my psychologist couch for the last thirty minutes. Jude moves next to me at some point, his hand rubbing my back.
"I'm so sorry.....I didn't mean to be The Johnstown Flood. I'm so embarrassed." I admit trying to take a few deep breaths.
"There is no need to be embarrassed. You're not the only one to cry on this couch." He assures me.
"Thankin the big man upstairs he made me a pretty crier.....gotta have something in my life that's top tier."
"Back to masking big emotions with jokes." He observes.
"You did not have to call me out like that Doc. Jeez." His deep laugh startles me for a moment.
"Do you think you can tell me what upset you?" He questions after his laughter died down.
"I....well I lost a friend recently, Emily. She was actually on my team."
"I'm sorry."
I bite my bottom lip trying to get my jumble thoughts straight.
"I don't know how to grieve her.....I've always compartmentalized my feelings especially when it came to death....and by compartmentalized I mean avoid. When my parents died I had mixed emotions and instead of trying to understand them and go through the stages of grief I grew a coffee addiction with a serious case of insomnia." I tell him.
"So what are you doing now?"
"Avoiding my feelings while I take care of my boyfriend as he grieves."
"That's not healthy Sunny." He scribbles something in his notebook.
"Obviously it's not or I wouldn't be here Jude." I give him a pointed look.
"Why are you prioritizing your boyfriends emotions over yours?"
I chew on the inside of my cheek as I think about his question, knowing he's not going to like what I say.
"Because Spence has known Emily for five years....I've only known her for a year. I don't feel like I have a right to grieve her the way he does. Like I don't deserve to...." I let out a small sigh. "It's stupid."
"Your feelings aren't stupid, Sunny and you have the right to grieve just like your boyfriend." He states, setting his pen down before meeting my gaze. "Does he know you're holding back for his sake."
I shake my head. "I....I don't think so." I admit.
"I'm going to be blunt with you Sunny.......you give everything to the people you love and expect little back because you believe you don't deserve much but you do, and if you're boyfriend doesn't realize that you deserve to grieve just as much as he does than he's a fool."
