Sunday Finnegan is the definition of chaotically detailed. She is powered by coffee thanks to her addiction of reading smutty books till 3am, cheerfully goofy and optimistic to a fault.
She's fresh out of Quantico and already has her first big girl...
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I can't believe I let Penny convince me to go to this. I use humor to avoid my really fucked up past, but I'm moving on, I'm building a life I love with people I love. I'm doing okay for myself considering the whole stalker thing. Vegas was a much needed break away for me to recuperate before diving head first back into work. Seeing Diana again was just what we both needed, well until she thought Spence and I were her TA's....that was difficult to help Spence navigate, but I'm glad I was there for him.
So when we got back from our trip, I felt bad for leaving so abruptly that when Pen asked me to come to one of her support groups she holds I said yes. Which leaves me sitting here in a big hall surrounded by people I don't know talking about losing people they loved.
"This is the part I always leave out." Pen's voice brings me back to the present as I listen to her talk in front of everyone. "I had missed my curfew the second time that week, and when I got home, it was crazy late. It was like 3 in the morning, and my parents weren't home, and the phone rang, and my life stopped. My parents were killed by a drunk driver when they were out looking for me. And if they hadn't been out looking for me, then....." She takes a deep breath. She didn't have to say anymore, all of us understood what she wanted to say. Most the people here carry the same sort of guilt.....not me though. My past will always be something that most will never relate to.
"We all have wounds that we want to heal. That's why we come here every week, right? And I have to believe that as we keep coming here and talking and revealing, that eventually, in time, even the deepest wounds we carry will begin to heal." Pen looks throughout the room as she speaks. I have to admit even her words are stirring something inside of me....hope, maybe.
A red headed woman sitting next to me makes a small noise as she continues to stare off into space.
"Monica, is there something you want to say?" Penny asks her. The woman looks up confused and startled for a moment.
"Huh? Um.....sorry. But I believe that time....wears you down. A few weeks ago....I walked by the bakery that we used to go to....and I saw this...little girl with blond pigtails." Her hand comes up to wipe her tears as she cries. "I'm sorry...I can't." She apologizes.
"Don't be sorry. It's totally ok." Pen assures her as a man behind her puts his hand on her shoulder in comfort. "That's why we're all here." He tells her.
"I think that's enough for tonight. I'm going to wrap it up. Ok?" Penny says as she stands, a few others following suit. "Thank you all for coming. I look forward to seeing you next week."
I watch Pen follow Monica out the door before someone comes up to me introducing themselves. I try to focus on the conversation, making a dark humor joke that probably disturbed them. Maybe if I tell a few more enough people will complain about my presence that Pen will tell me to stay away. I want to support her, but not when it involves me opening up to strangers again....I've already done that and look how well that turned out, a psychiatrist that got his license taken away for inappropriate use of his power and a distrust for any person in the psychology profession.
