Sunday Finnegan is the definition of chaotically detailed. She is powered by coffee thanks to her addiction of reading smutty books till 3am, cheerfully goofy and optimistic to a fault.
She's fresh out of Quantico and already has her first big girl...
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"Sunny!" Carver smiles seeing my form fitting shirt that shows off my little adorable baby bump. "You're absolutely glowing. I take it you've told the team?" She questions knowingly. I help Pickles up on my lap, his little paws gently needing my belly in interest. Spence comes rushing in, plopping down next to me.
"Sorry. Late. Dairy." He gets out trying to take some deep breaths.
"No worries Dr. Reid. We were just doing normal small talk before we dive in." She crosses her legs underneath her getting comfortable in her hot pink sofa chair, "So last session we had just gotten to when you woke up the second time after Jude confessed to following you for years, brutally and repeatedly kicking you until you passed out from the pain."
My body was already shaking from the thought of going back to that forest, Spences hand coming to take mine in his trying to soothe me. I debated letting him come to these sessions, to hear what exactly happened that day. But he was insistent that he didn't want to leave me to do this by myself, insisted on being my moral support. Just another reason to count how lucky I am to have him.
"He wanted me to understand why he was doing this. Said it was my fault it had to be this way, if I had just stayed away from Spence...then all this could have been avoided." I stop looking down at Pickles in my lap taking a moment to breath in deeply then exhaling out slowly. "But I chose to be a whore, sleeping with an impostor who didn't know the true meaning of my life. He claimed that Spence couldn't see my father's plan, couldn't see that I was a walking angel on borrowed time and that he was willing to let me live as long as I admit that I belonged to him not Spence." My voice starts to shake, closing my eyes when the memories flood my mind.
"I-I..." tears slowly roll down my cheeks. "I told him to fuck off with a few choice words about being Spence's whore. I knew I shouldn't piss him off, I knew I should have kept my mouth shut but I....." My head shakes as I look up to meet Carvers kind eyes. "I knew I was going to die and I wanted to make sure he knew exactly how I felt. It was my fault....the loss of our baby, if I would have stayed silent then maybe..." I trail off.
"He was dealing with a server delusional psychosis, it didn't matter what you did he knew going into those woods that he was gonna hurt you as much as he felt hurt by you." Spence pulls my attention to him as he explains what I've been struggling to accept.
"I tried so hard....tried so hard to protect our baby." I sputter with a sob, Spence pulls me into his arms, his hands rubbing my back as he delicately places kisses to the top of my head.
"Sunny, let me remind you that at anytime we can stop. We can take as long as you need...both of you." She looks over at Spence giving him a nod. I know hearing this, learning what happened is extremely painful for him. No one wants to hear the twisted details of someone they loved being tortured.
"I know, I just....give me a minute." I whisper against his chest. The room stays quiet while I remind myself that I'm safe, Spence is safe, Carver and Pickles is safe. That our baby growing strong and healthy inside my stomach is safe. I rub my little bump trying to picture what he or she is going to look like. If they will have my nose or Spences. If they will have my unruly curls or have Spences soft waves. Blonde or Brunette. Green eyes or brown. A genius like their daddy or a chronic word vomiter like their mommy. The immense terror that was seizing my heart starts to slowly ebb away as I continue to picture our sweet little blueberry.
