Sunday Finnegan is the definition of chaotically detailed. She is powered by coffee thanks to her addiction of reading smutty books till 3am, cheerfully goofy and optimistic to a fault.
She's fresh out of Quantico and already has her first big girl...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Six weeks later....
He didn't rape me...I guess I can consider that a mercy. But what he did to me in that forest....he violated me....violated my body. He took my baby away from me...from Spence. I've been struggling to come to terms with what happened.
Bones can heal faster than the soul....he broke me in a way I don't know how to overcome. The scars I now carry on my body a constant reminder of what happened, it made me physically sick just to look at them.
I barely sleep because when I do I'm back there in that forest, reliving every excruciating detail. Spence has to announce when he's going to kiss me or hold me in anyway or else I'll have a panic attack. He's so incredibly understanding but I can see it....see the pain behind his eyes watching me struggle.
I've been off work for seven weeks now. But it's time to go back next week...I don't leave my house. I can't even step foot near the metro without throwing up in terror. How was I supposed to catch criminals if I can barely handle walking outside my house?
Rationally I know it's time to get back to my normal life. I need to move on, a distraction of sorts. Something that can keep me from dwelling on what happened. Spence had gone back three weeks ago. That's all he could get approved off.
My biggest panic attack happened the night he left on his first case back. Penny had come over to help me but I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't function without Spence here. He was the only thing that kept me grounded, kept me from completely losing myself. He's my safe place and having him gone on cases was torture.
We haven't talked much about what he said to Jude that night. Me for her. What he was willing to do to protect me...to save me...I can't imagine my life without him in it. Which only breaks my heart thinking about how he must have felt seeing me so broken....watching me get shot right in front of him...if I'm struggling with flashbacks I can't even imagine the pain he's going through in that eidetic memory of his.
Spence and Emily were asked to talk at a violent crime seminar in Chicago, I ended up tagging along not wanting to stay at our home alone for one more second. I'm listening to Patricia Cornwell a crime writer as she's getting ready to introduce my adorable fiance. His eyes keep meeting mine as he waits patiently up on stage.
"In the end, I just write about Violent crime. The real heroes are the people here beside me. Now give a warm welcome to our next speaker, Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU." Spence has that tight upside down grin on his face as he waves to the crowd. I cheer a little too loudly getting a few glares at my table.
"That's my fiance" I say proudly as they continue to look uninterested.
"Thank you, thanks...." He says leaning down to speak into the microphone. "Patricia Cornwell, ladies and gentlemen. Ms. Cornwell will be signing books at the end of the session." He goes to grab the microphone getting feedback as he tries to move it up higher so he doesn't have to lean. He is so awkwardly perfect.
