A/N:
Hey lovelies,
Sorry for the long wait on updates! I've had a lot going on lately, but I'm going to try to get back on track and post more often.
And guess who finally graduated? Yes, it's me, waiting for your gifts. 🎓🎉
Thanks for sticking around and being patient. More updates coming soon!
Luke's pov
The music was loud and energetic, and everyone was having fun. I glanced around the room and saw Pete chatting with Miles. Nick and Marc were surrounded by a group of their friends, each holding their glasses and enjoying themselves.
I don't know what was wrong with me exactly, but since I woke up, I've been low on energy. All I wish is just to lie in bed and sleep.
Nick is getting married, and I genuinely feel happy for him. It's wonderful to see him find someone to share his life with, and I can see how much joy it brings him.
But
We spent 16 years apart, and when we finally got the chance to reconnect, it's been less than a year. Just as I was beginning to feel like I had my brother back, he's taking this big step. What if he moves out? What if he goes to Britain and I'm left behind?
I worry that as he builds his new life, I won't be as present in it anymore. The fear that I might become less important to him haunts me. What if he becomes so engrossed in his new family that he doesn't notice the little things I do? What if the only time he pays attention is when I mess up?
What if he forgets about me? What if, once he has his own kids, I become a distant memory, a part of his past rather than his present? The idea that I might be nothing to him in his new life terrifies me.
I know this sounds selfish, and I'm trying my best not to act on these feelings, but what should I do when I know I will fall behind?
I know I should be supportive and excited for him, and I am. But it's hard to shake these fears. I don't want to lose him. I'm just scared of being left behind, of becoming invisible in his new world.
This sucks!
I felt a lump forming in my throat and glanced to my side. The alcohol bottles seemed very tempting. I'm tired of these thoughts and fears that I know are not far from reality. But I don't want to be selfish and hold Nick back. I sighed to myself, thinking the alcohol might help me forget these worries, even if just for a little while.
I was distracted by Leonardo saying with a smirk, "I'm still here! I can take Nick's place for a while."
"Why would you do that when his part-time brother is around?" Ford stepped in.
Their words and smiles were meant to comfort me, but they only highlighted the void I felt. Even if Leonardo and Ford both tried to fill Nick's place, they wouldn't even cover a quarter of it.
I just wanted my brother, just him, and no one else could replace that.
I forced a small smile, not wanting to offend them. Without saying anything, I walked to the alcohol table to get a drink.
I poured myself some Vodka, before someone abruptly grabbed the glass from my grasp. It was Marc. He seemed annoyed as he spoke, "You've had three glasses of red wine, a quarter glass of a strong drink, and now a whole glass of vodka? I guess that's enough for tonight."
Why did he feel the need to babysit me at every turn? Couldn't he just mind his own business for once? I glared at him, silently willing him to let me be. I was done with being watched over and judged. I just wanted to have my peace, to drown out the cacophony of worries and fears swirling in my mind with the numbing embrace of alcohol. But it seemed even that small solace was being denied to me.
