Between Lies and Hatred [Jenlisa]

PART 56

JENNIE'S POV

Who would have thought that I'd be losing the child that I'd wanted to protect my entire life? I wanted our baby to be exquisite and intelligent, a talented child who would make us proud in every way, a child we'd support in whatever she wanted to do.

I had previously planned a name. I have a lot of names in mind. I had already envisaged what we would be doing as a happy family. Places we'll visit so she can experience every lovely scenery. I wanted to teach her my cooking talents and inherit Lisa's athletic abilities. I hoped she'd adopt my eyes and Lisa's plump lips. I hoped she would have Lisa's height and my gummy smile.

But the world is so cruel that it didn't give us the chance to do and experience everything I planned.

I gazed at myself in the mirror, wiping away my tears and caressing my tummy. It seemed like I was a different person. My eyes swelled, my face paled, and I grew thinner. I don't want to worry Lisa too much, but I can't help it. Every time I remember our baby, tears spontaneously flow. And every time I hear Lisa weep, my heart clenches so intently that tears fall all over again. Lisa doesn't want to show her vulnerable side given of my situation. She wants to be strong for us, but I couldn't even do it for her.

"I'm so sorry you left this world too soon, my baby." I whispered, rubbing my tummy. Damn it, I'm about to cry again. And I'm not sure if I still have a single tear to shed.

Knowing my friends, I know every time I go to the restroom, they know I'm crying again. And I appreciate how they don't discuss it or even ask questions when I go out. They're giving me a genuine smile and offering me anything for my sake. As for my wife, Lisa has been quite busy with her company, as well as mine. She volunteered to take over, despite the fact that she's preoccupied with her own company and clan's preparations to capture Jiwon. But she makes sure to return before dinner. She would take out my favourite dish and we'd eat together.

I know Lisa is blaming herself. She just doesn't want to show it. But I've been showing her and reassuring her that it's not her fault. Nobody is at fault. If anyone is to blame, it's fucking Jonghyun and that fucking Jiwon, who's still hiding from Lisa.

I know that getting rid of him will not help a wounded heart heal. Only time will mend it. But it doesn't mean I'll forget about our kid, who was meant to be our first child. And I think it will take me years to get over it.

Am I prepared to get pregnant again? I'm not sure. I don't know. The wound is so deep, and the trauma it created has instilled dreadful fear within me. For the time being, I want to put an end to these disputing situations. I want us to live peacefully.

And now I'm not sure how to tell Lisa about this. The moment itself is not ideal for speaking about it. I'm still healing from our child's death.

"Should we tell her? I think we should." After hearing Jisoo murmur those words, I immediately stopped opening the door. What exactly are they talking about? Is there something they're hiding?

"Let Lisa tell it first. Don't get ahead of her. We're not in a position to say that. Besides, we're still doing the next test." Rosé responded to it. Okay, that's it. Whatever that is, I'd like to know.

"Tell me what?" When I asked, Rosé's eyes widened, but Jisoo remained cool. It's giving. Jisoo wants to tell me about that thing, but Rosé doesn't. This explains their reaction.

"What test are you talking about?" I added, walking towards them.

"No—nothing! It's the test about—about—fuck" Rosé cursed softly. She doesn't really know how to lie.

"Lisa is busy, Chae. It might even get slipped out from her mind." Jisoo comes towards the tiny table, pulls the drawer, and picks up the small brown envelope. What's this about, and what happened while I was unconscious?