Scars Of Love | Iguro Obanai

21

Key points:

I - memories of reader

B - thoughts

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"That snake boy from before, why do you even love him?"

You froze in your seat as Douma asked that awful question, his eyes twinkled in curiosity as if he was a child waiting for his mother to tell her love story. It made your stomach churn for some reason, why did you even love him in the first place?

No one ever knew why you feel that kind of emotion for the serpent pillar, they thought it was just some silly infatuation that you got after becoming one of the pillars after you got out of your family's clan. But there was more than just a simple admiration for him, there was more of that love.

Something you couldn't share with anyone, not even Douma himself.

"It's none of your business" you told Douma, eyes glaring at him as if to say back off.

The uppermoon didn't bother to ask more and just shrug with a silly grin, "A pointless love for someone so shallow. I really don't understand humans and their love for someone who can't reciprocate, you're very interesting."

"You're sick in the mind for still wanting someone like him, and you're fully aware of that."

You gave him an annoyed glare, this guy was trying to provoke you in telling the whole story about why. But of course, he won't get into your nerves. Douma was just being his normal self, provocative and an asshole.

"You just can't feel love yourself" was the only thing you told him before standing up and walk away from him.

The uppermoon simply snickered in amusement as he watch you walk away, feeling victorious that he was able to get into you once more after another day.

•••

"I don't think you're good enough" the mother told her child in a scolding tone, she gave the little girl a disappointing look. But at the same time, she felt pity for her daughter.

Why must she undergo this fate?

The child could only stand there with tears in her eyes while her tiny hands gripped the training stick tightly due to shame and sadness, she couldn't accept her mother's words nor would she accept it anytime soon. Her mother was harsh with the training, it made her feel small in some way.

"You're better off to be engaged if you can't be strong enough, considering how weak you are in terms of combat."

Those were her mother's words before leaving her behind that big yard of theirs, a mother who couldn't even look at her child in comfort was something a kid shouldn't experience. A mother who couldn't give the love and comfort for her child is something the Gods cursed her to have.

Why must it be that way?

The room was dark in the moonless night, the little girl walked around the home to secretly train outside. At the age of ten, she was trying hard to train herself during the night. Just for them to be proud, a kid with a dream of getting her parents' attention and love when she can finally be independent and strong.

Maybe she can finally show her worth of that's the case.

"You always tire her out!" her father's worried voice boomed inside the room of her parents' shared bedroom.

"Because what can we do if the elders decided to pull some strings and make her marry that kid who's meant to be a demon feast? We can't do anything!" her mother cried in fear "I can't live on thinking that my child will live a life of misery, that she'll be eaten one day."

"What choice do we have? Because even in our clan, there's still a fucking demon waiting for her to be at age so that it could swallow her alive!"

"Then let's take her away from here!"

"No" her father said in an affirmative tone "We can't do that, you know we can't. We can be killed, our family will be killed."

Both of them stayed silent for a while, thinking about what to do in this situation but nothing came up in their minds. The mother finally lets herself relax despite the fact that they'll be pressured one day.

A single sacrifice, their own child.

The little girl stood outside the room in silence with the truth finally out and about. Her eyes glimmered with tears before leaving the estate in determination to train herself more, the stronger she is the better for everyone.

Is that why her mother couldn't give her such love? Who knows.

"Ah!" the little girl yelp in surprise when she suddenly felt something stop her from running further.

She turn around fearlessly to confront whatever was stopping her way, only to stand in place when she realized something.

"Human?" she ask in surprise.

A child her age was outside the woods for who knows what and was stopping her from going further, she frowned at the child after realizing that.

"Demons, danger." Was the only thing that he said, the little girl understood what he was trying to say so she lets her guard down for once.

"Who are you?" she ask.

But that child didn't say a word. Instead, he just stayed with her in silence.

.......

"You can't hide your thoughts forever" Douma was quick to say after cutting your thoughts off in boredom, his eyes tried to look for hints of annoyance but he failed today.

You only sigh at him, feeling somewhat better despite the memories. You weren't sure why, but that certain memory of yours was something to look into more. Knowing how your parents feared for your life, how your mother feared for you despite how stony she was when you were younger.

I was always loved, I knew that.

Younger Iguro was someone you admired ever since, the reason why you held such strong feelings for the man despite his treatment towards you today. He had the same experience as yours, both of you shared the same pain. That was your driving force to be stronger, for you to be able to save him from that misery.

But alas, it wasn't what fate wanted you to do.

"I can always hide my thoughts from you" was the only thing you told Douma before finally leaving him be.

The uppermoon only watched your figure disappear from the hallway with a blank expression on his face.

"But not for long, sweet lotus."