Darkness requires a soothing light to calm its demons, while light seeks darkness to feel secure. They complete each other, mutually need each other, until they realize that every darkness harbors a glimmer and that every gleam conceals a part of da...
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Now it's a fact, I'm without friends; or at least with most of them. Tiana was the only one I saw sitting on her bed waiting for me to open my eyes, only she greeted me with a smile, and I felt like scum.
I was never good at showing my feelings; otherwise, I would have been crying on her shoulder, begging for forgiveness. Instead, a grimace came out along with an apology. I went too far with the hit, and I surprised myself that I was willing to shoot her. However, she smiled warmly, sat beside me, and put her arm around my shoulders.
"Honey, the name itself says 'war games'. Although I don't agree with the smoke grenades, Hall shooting Andrea mercilessly, and the fact that Eric distanced you from us, what had to happen happened; it was all part of a war game. If you had been on our team or we had been on yours, we would have done the same."
"And the others?"
"Andrea is upset about the grenades, her guy has a big bruise on his neck and is upset because she thinks you should have reprimanded Hall when he shot her. Ian is resentful since your absence the day before yesterday and that you shot him twice, he also has a bruise on his neck. And Jim is not upset, he doesn't usually take things personally. Just think about it, our two friends don't know how to lose." she sighed dramatically.
"Why do I feel terrible?"
"Because you still retain your good moral judgment of Amity. Don't worry, you're a Dauntless and you acted like one, you got the most points."
Everything was in order with her, we went to have breakfast and Freya gave us the news of a day off, so it was 11 in the morning and there was a lot of activity in the pit.
I had never had friends until now, and it's quite curious because I used to worry about losing them. However, now I was on the second floor sitting on the concrete ledge while watching the others. I was alone and felt good about it. My mind was at peace, and there was no need to talk or pay attention to anyone. I just let my thoughts wander and think about Eric Coutler.
I was a bit apprehensive; I wanted to see him, but at the same time, I didn't. The second kiss made two things very clear to me: 1. There will be more than one kiss, and 2. Nobody will know. It wasn't a coincidence; he won't see me as his equal in front of others. I'll be just an initiate while privately, I'll be the person he can devour lips with. And yes, I feel bad because I'm speculating too much, I'm getting paranoid, and I'm hurting myself in the process. I don't want to think about it; I want to lock my feelings in a box and lose it every time I'm with him. He's not in Dauntless today; Max sent him to Erudite, and I found out because I've been sitting in the same place for about two hours, and the people around me tend to speak very loudly. In conclusion, I won't see Eric today.
"You look very lonely, do you mind if I join you?" Raphael's voice sounded behind me.
