"I fight, but my feelings show
They came rushing in just like a flood
I can't get enough 'cause I need you, baby, baby, by my side
You can give me your time
And I'll always ask for more
'Cause forever just ain't long enough"
Taraji x Tasia
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Fantasia POV
Taking a sip of my tea I sat on the back patio looking out into my large backyard as the sun rose.
Being outside was one of the places I felt the calmest. It was quiet enough where I could think but not too quiet to where it was eerie.
Reaching over I opened my bible and journal and started my morning devotional.
Once I finished I placed them back in the Bible brief case and grabbed my work planner. Looking over the pink and white calendar I was reminded that we would be flying to L.A. in a few weeks for some award shows and interviews. I was interrupted by my phone buzzing. Not even paying attention to the instagram notification I smiled as my eyes landed on the picture of Raji and the kids. They were all in my bed knocked out and it was the cutest thing ever so of course I just had to take a picture. It's been my lock screen ever since.
"I love that picture" I heard softly from the patio doors. My eyes snapped up to hers as she stood there looking a bit apprehensive. "Me too. It's kind of early you're usually still asleep at this time" I spoke softly.
"I didn't feel you next to me in the bed." She mumbled. I hummed "I'm sorry baby. You okay?" I let my eyes look her over.
She nodded while fiddling with her hands and chewing on her bottom lip still not coming closer like she usually would have.
I reached my hand out signaling for her to come closer. "Come here mama. Let's talk" I said softly. When she was within arms reach I pulled her down onto my lap. I moved the strands of hair that fell out of the bun to her face out of the way.
"I'm not mad at you my love. You know that right?" Taraji looked down at me and nodded. She snuck a quick kiss making me smile. "I'm sorry...I should've never accused you of doing anything like that." She apologized.
"Did I...do anything to make you feel like that? Please if I did tell me so I can correct it. I don't want you feeling like that Raj."
She immediately shook her head "No! I just-you can be so friendly and kind to any and everyone which is something I love about you. You make everybody feel so welcome and it's innocent on your part. But sometimes you can't recognize when someone is making advances at you...and then it ties into what I've dealt with. My insecurities got the best of me. I pushed a general fear onto you when you haven't even done anything. I'm sorry"
I took in her words before responding. "Baby stop it...listen to me I get it I promise I do. Stop apologizing. What do you need from me to ensure that you feel secure?"
She thought about it for a second "Reassurance helps. It's really just me always in my head..."
I hummed "Do you think...maybe seeing someone would help?" I suggested. I felt her kind of freeze up and zone out before she relaxed. "Yeah maybe" she muttered.
I lifted her chin so she would look at me. "Talk to me Raj where'd you go just now? You know I'd never want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with"
She played with my necklace. "I just haven't had the best experience with therapists. I feel like they're always trying to just get the scoop on the actress Taraji P. Henson instead of trying to actually help me but I do want to try will you help me look?"
I immediately nodded "Of course mama. Anything else you need from me or want to talk about?" I asked.
"Mmm how would you feel about not necessarily hiding anymore? Like not anything crazy like doing an interview and announcing it but just not trying to hide anymore" She asked apprehensively. A smile broke out into my face. If she wasn't in my lap I would've started jumping around.
"Girl yes! I've been waiting for you to give me the green light" She chuckled and kissed me. "I love you" She mumbled against my lips. "I love you even more"
"You know Ms.O told me we suck at keeping it under wraps?" Raji busted out laughing "Wait what!"
"I'm serious! Last night we were backstage and she was just staring at me. I'm thinking something wrong she was like I don't know why y'all are still trying to hide it. I couldn't do shit but laugh cause I thought we were doing good!" I explained.
She shook her head and pointed at me "It's because of you crazy! Rewatching all of our interviews showed it! Especially that one where you leaned it to kiss me? Told them all they needed to know." I shrugged unapologetically because I'd definitely do it again.
The wind started to pick up so we went back inside and went to lay in bed for a little while longer. I looked at her eyes and frowned knowing she must not have been sleeping good. "Go to sleep" I said with no room for argument. She chuckled and looked up at me. "I just woke up?!"
"That's fine. I'm not trying to hear all that though come here." She started groaning but I didn't care. Moving to lay on my back she placed her head on my stomach. I played in her hair to get her to fall asleep.
"I have a surprise for you" she mumbled into my stomach making me jump. She needed to chill out before I said fuck sleep. "Girl you better stop! What's the surprise?"
Raji chuckled and pecked my stomach adding more fuel to the fire. I softly popped her head. "I can't tell you crazy it's a surprise! You'll get it today though. Wake me up in an hour" She muttered.
"I'll wake you up in two" I said lifting her head to kiss her lips before leaving her be. "Girl if you keep kissing me like that a nap will be the last thing on my mind." Her eyes were a bit dazed from the kiss.
I laughed and reached over to turn the light off.
"Shhh close your eyes." ___________________ Ahhhh don't kill me I know it's short! After I write my paper I promise I'll give y'all two more😩
Cowboy Carter come out at 12🤭I been staying off of Twitter td cause they on there leaking stuff!
