Selfish

4.) You Again

Christopher Maurice Brown ◇

I sat up in bed with a banging headache. Raising my hands to my head, I rubbed my temples, but it didn't help at all.

Once I finally gained enough energy to get myself up, I climbed out of bed heading straight for the bathroom.

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and did everything else I usually do in the morning. This morning wasn't normal though since I was moving so slow-motion due to my pain.

After stumbling back into my bedroom and taking an Advil from my dresser I got back into bed. I got a bottle off of my night stand that consists of many other bottles of water. I mean, I know I can't be the only one that has tons of water bottles in my room.

I took the pain-reliever pill and leaned back in bed staring up at the ceiling. With low eyes, I looked to the other night stand in my room on the opposite side of my bed and wasn't surprised to see not one, not two, but three empty bottles.

I know exactly what I did. I drank my problems away, or at least that's what I thought would happen.

Unlike what I was hoping, here I am with just as many problems that I had yesterday before I came up with this supposed brilliant idea to begin drinking again. Also, like always, I now have the additional problem of having to get over this damn hangover.

Well this is just great isn't it?

"Chris?" I heard the voice of my mother fill the house.

"Shit," I said aloud as I gave a low groan while leaning over to hide the three bottles of liquor under my bed. My mother is well aware that I drink liquor so that's nothing to hide, but what I definitely will hide is the evidence of me downing three whole bottles by myself.

She'd kill me with multiple speeches on how I can get myself sick, how I should set limits for myself, how being under the influence doesn't ease your mind it dampers it. I've heard it all.

Basically she'd supply me with information that I'm already fully aware of. She just fails to realize that although I know these things, it doesn't mean that I have to follow or accept them.

Liquor and drugs obviously can be harmful to you and your body, but they also can play the role of positivity in someone's life. Depending on who it is drinking it or getting high because it can make you carefree and wild in a good way. Free from the thoughts that haunt you. Free from the feelings that entrap you. Free from everything. When I smoke, all I wanna do is laugh which is exactly what I should be doing- laughing the pain away. On the other hand, liquor would be way more detrimental for me because it makes me depressed. It makes me want to do nothing but sit back and think about all that I'm going through. Again, not a good thing since I need to do anything to get those thoughts out of my head, but like I said- they both play different purposes.

"Christopher!" My mother said as she looked at me slumped in bed. "You need to get out of bed! Do you not know what time it is??"

I sighed and asked was it around ten in the morning.

"Ten? Child, it's 2 in the afternoon. Get up!" She pulled my soft white comforter from over my body and I groaned beginning to toss and turn.

It felt like I was being woken up for school or something.

I sat there with my face stuffed in one of my many pillows until my mother stuck her head into my bedroom. "I know I said get up. I'm guessing you didn't hear me correctly? Well lemme repeat myself. Get your ass up, Christopher! When you do, which better be immediately, you're going to help me clean up this mess."