Selfish

20.) Failed Plans

Sarai Nivea Taylor ◆

Chris agreed to meet up with me today, thankfully. We have unfinished business and I think it'd be best to go somewhere public so that he wouldn't punch another hole somewhere or something, so, I'm at an eat-in food place in town waiting for him to arrive anxiously.

I tap my fingers down on the table impatiently as I continue to look around for Chris to arrive and when he finally does enter and spots me I give him a small smile.

Here we go...

"Hi Chris," I say just as his slides into the booth seat across from me.

"Wassup," he weakly acknowledges me.

I sigh and fold my hands before suggesting we finish what we started.

He scratches the back of his neck then admits, "I really don't think I'm in the right state of mind to hear the rest of ya lil story. I'm not really off what you told me before and I'm not sure if I can handle more right now."

"Chris all that time you begged for this and when I'm ready you don't wanna here it all in one piece or at least as soon as possible, really?"

"I'm not trying to be walking around all depressed or feel the need to fight another nigga after hearing whatever you got to say Sarai," he states. "And I don't have the feeling you bouta tell me any good news."

He has a point there, but I still want to just get this out of the way so I insist that we get it done and he finally agrees.

"Well uh... before we go any further what do you mean you'd have to fight other niggas for me?" I ask.

Chris shakes his head with low eyes and says not very loudly, "I know you didn't think I was just gonna deal with him putting his hands on you easily. I couldn't just shrug that off. Boys or not. The two of us together or not.. I wasn't gonna accept him hitting you for nothing."

My eyes go wide as I ask him, "You fought Ty?"

"Had to," Chris says while looking down messing with his hands. "You might piss me off and you might hurt me," he begins. "But I love you and I think I always will. I'd never let some other dude hurt you in anyway. I'll protect you in anyway that I can no matter what."

"Thank you Chris... But can I ask you something?"

He looks up and cuts his eyes at me. "You just did."

I suck my teeth and sort of smile. "You know what I mean!"

He chuckles and nods his head. "What are you trying to ask me, girl?"

I sigh and look him in his eyes as I say, "Why?"

"Why what?" Chris says back with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Why do you care so much? Why are you still fighting for me?" I ask because I honestly do not know. I half expected him to be done with me and not want anything to do with me, but being Chris he never fails to surprise me.

"I could never do that, Sarai, not even if I tried. I spent a year of my life loving you so fucking much," he trails off and shakes his head. "No matter what you do I'll love you and I'll always make sure you're good."

"Thank you," I say again.

Chris shrugs his shoulder like its whatever not knowing that it means a lot to me that he still cares and supposedly always will.

"So I wanted to let you know exactly why it took so long for me to know and accept that I loved you all of this time," I admit.

"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "What would that be?"