Selfish

9.) Let's Discuss

Christopher Maurice Brown ◇

I walked towards the door ignoring her presence and just proceeded to unlock the door.

"I came to talk to you Chris. This is necessary!" She tried to make clear to me.

"It's necessary?" I scrunched my face up at her. "No what's necessary is for you to be real with a nigga and lemme know how you feeling. Lemme know wassup so I can know if its time for me to let go or let god."

She stumbled back a little away from me since while I was speaking I slightly leaned forward directly in her face showing how serious I was.

"Let god? What do you mean by that?"

"Let god lead the way. I need to know if what we have is real enough for me to continue waiting for you, but Sarai time is slowly ticking and I'm running out of patience. I can't wait for you forever."

"And I'm not expecting you to! I just.." She sighed dramatically. "You know I have a lot of problems emotionally and I just need time to figure out how its affecting me. Affecting us."

"Do you not understand how long I've been waiting? All this time you should've been tried getting yourself together, but wasting a year of my life making me believe I actually have a chance? That's ridiculous."

Someone walked down the hallway heading towards the elevator and by the way that they were eyeing us I could tell they heard some of our conversation.

Sarai looked over towards them over her shoulder and motioned towards inside my apartment. "Can we please take this inside so it can be private?"

I sighed to gain my composure and to prepare myself for this long back-and-forth conversation I was about to have with her.

"Fine, let's go." I walked right in heading straight to my bedroom and I sort of expected her to follow me, but I was hoping she wouldn't.

I heard her little footsteps behind me so I quickly turned around saying to her, "Stay in here," I motioned to the living room. "Imma go change right quick."

"Don't be directing me like I'm some dog you got me fucked up Chris," she replied smartly without even thinking about what she was saying I'm sure.

"Then get the fuck out!" I yelled at her. "You not bouta come in here with me trying to tempt me with your fucking constant sex appeal!"

"Stop yelling at me!" She shouted back at me then calmed her tone back down eyeing me up and down. "This is so unlike you."

"Well maybe it is like me. Maybe I was so weak emotionally that I kept my actual thoughts bottled up to save myself from stupid arguments like this."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Maybe."

I rolled my eyes and continued to my room quickly changing into some basketball shorts instead of my jeans.

When I strolled back into the living room Sarai wasn't there and I frowned until I heard the crunch of something from behind me. I turned to see her walking from the kitchen with a bag of Cheetos in her hand.

"Oh yeah just make yourself at home," I said sarcastically holding my hands up to motion around.

"Gladly," she said back smartly then headed right to the sofa kicking her feet up.

I sat across from her on the couch waiting for her to actually say something since we supposedly need to talk.

"So you gon speak or what?" I questioned giving her an annoyed look.

"Yeah," she chewed some more then continued on with our conversation in the hallway. "Now you said I wasted a year of your life. How so?"

"Fuck do you mean 'how so,'" I mocked her tone. "Around a year ago I told you how I felt about you. I told you that I loved you more than just a friend and you just shrugged me off and in case you didn't know that shit hurts."

"Chris I really don't mean to hurt you I just don't know how to express these feelings," She played with her hands as she spoke. "My heart is telling me one thing while my mind is telling me another. I'm working on being able to fully let you know how I've been feeling, but the right time just hasn't come."

"Well what's wrong with right now?" I wondered aloud.

"I have to perfect the way I'll share it all with you. I can't express it piece by piece. It has to be at once, no distractions."

"No lies either right? You'd tell me everything?"

"No lies," she confirmed.

"Hmm, well this can't wait. Answer this- why were you out with Ty early this morning?"

Her face instantly went pale as she began to look nervous. "Ty? When did you see me out with Ty?"

"Someone told me they saw the two of you out together. Now tell me why. I thought you didn't even like Ty. You said he's too involved in things between the two of us or something to that extent. What changed?"

Michael Nguyen-Stevenson (Ty)

To be honest I don't remember anything that happened last night. All I know is I woke up to that annoying chick Chris goes crazy over yelling at me to get up and her crying, "Chris can't find out! He can't!"

While the whole time I was looking at her with a face of confusion since I had no idea what she was talking about before asking her, "Why you in my house?"

But yet again, she didn't answer me and ordered me to get up and take her to the nearest Walgreens, CVS, or Rite Aid so without questions asked I took her since I needed to get up anyways for some pain relievers for this headache. I have no idea how I made it all the way there without one, but it all worked out.

After a ten minute car ride in mostly an awkward silence with this girl occasionally complaining we finally made it to the Walgreens and she got out the car without a word and soon afterwards I got out as well. While I got a box of one of the pain killers I noticed her at the Pharmacy looking nervous. I didn't give it another thought and headed to go get a water bottle to take with the pill, a Dr. Pepper and a packet of Sour Patches. I then headed to the car waiting for the wicked witch to return and once she did I turned to leave the parking lot, but not before asking her where she lives.

When she told me I took her straight home since I didn't wanna share another second with her that I didn't have to.

Before getting out the car she turned to me and repeated what she kept saying when she rudely woke me up.

"Don't tell Chris."

I didn't get the chance to ask what I wasn't supposed to be telling Chris before she slammed the car door and jogged her way up the steps and through the front door.

I sat there in my car for a second continuing to ponder on what we were supposed to be keeping from Chris, but nothing came to mind.

That bitch's crazy.

I put the car back into drive then pulled off.

How do you think Chris & Sarai's conversation turned out? Do you think it'll benefit them or not?

vote & comment
-lani