Weathered Love

NIGHTMARE

"Special delivery," Ella stated with a sad smile. She handed me two cups of ice cream and a paper bag with two cones in them. She waved at Andrew and then left us alone.

"You didn't," Andrew stated. But there was a sparkle in his eye.

"I did promise you ice cream," I informed him.

"It's not your cheat day," he pointed out. I shrugged. "You're spoiling me. Or, you're worried I won't last until your next cheat day," he continued. I sucked in a sharp breath, and I hoped he didn't hear it. But, to my dismay he did. "Come on," he stated, patting his bed again. We both knew what was going on, what we both thought and felt, and decided it'd be best to just have some sugar therapy for the moment.

I gently sat on his bed and carefully removed the lid of his ice cream, stuck a cone on top, and offered it to him with a plastic spoon. The shake in his hands, however, didn't escape me as he tried to casually take the cup from me. I held it back and he looked bewildered for a moment. "Are you really going to tease me with this?" he whined. But I knew that was his joking whine.

"Let me feed you," I requested. He was about to protest when I said, "If you're feeling stronger after a few bites, I'll let you feed yourself. I just don't want you getting ice cream all over the bed," I obviously lied. He gave me that knowing smile and simply brought his face closer, waiting to be fed. I took a small spoon of that delectably cold treat and put it in his mouth. Andrew smiled, then brought his face to the cup and licked a larger amount of ice cream into his mouth.

"Come on," he stated after I gave him an amused, but disappointed, smile. "That was an infant sized spoonful. I'm sick, not miniature." I nodded in understanding and decided, in an effort to tease him, I'd give him an enormous spoonful the second time. He laughed at my action and gladly took the much larger portion, a small drop starting to drip down his perfect face after he had devoured almost the entire spoonful. I started to wipe it away from the corner of his mouth with my thumb when he stopped me and held my hand, then softly sucked the ice cream from my thumb. I trembled internally, relishing the moment of pure vulnerability between us. He then placed my hand on his face and held it firmly in place as he closed his eyes and seemed to be breathing in my scent. He definitely wasn't shaking at that moment. "You're sweeter than the ice cream," he mumbled.

"Hey, that's what I should be saying to you," I sadly whispered. But I couldn't help but smile. Andrew smiled back, then eyed the dessert once more. I smiled, scooped a more appropriate-sized portion, and resumed feeding him. After taking some more spoonfuls, he took the ice cream from me. I was about to protest when he nodded at the other cup sitting next to me that I completely forgot about.

"It's going to be soup soon. And look, I'm fine feeding myself. I want to watch you eating now," he insisted. I gave in, because I wanted to give him everything he wanted while I still could. I was even happier seeing that Ella got me coffee-flavored ice cream. My favorite always changed, and lately it had been coffee. She really deserved more than she was being given. So did Andrew.

And when that last thought ran through my head, I lost my appetite. But I couldn't disappoint Andrew, so I scooped what I hoped didn't look like a minute spoonful and consumed it, letting it slowly melt in my mouth, then trickle down the back of my throat and soothe the ball that was starting to form. It really was the perfect treatment for sadness.

"Are you OK?" Andrew asked, taking another spoonful right after his question.

"I'm as OK as I can be, my love," I admitted. Andrew sighed at my response. "I want to enjoy this moment with you," I truthfully stated. "And the ice cream does help with feeling better," I tried to assure him.

"Can you do me a favor?" Andrew asked. I nodded. Anything for him. "Call me by my nickname. I like hearing you say it," he bashfully requested. It was so endearing and so simple.