Weathered Love

ME

It had been two weeks since Spring Break ended. Two weeks of avoiding the gym and eating my feelings away. Two weeks of wondering if maybe I had done anything differently, if I was thinner, if I wasn't so pathetically in love with Caleb... two weeks in which I probably gained back all the weight Leah claimed I lost.

Mackenzie convinced me to go to the gym with her one Saturday. I never went on a Saturday before, but I imagined I reduced my chances of seeing Derek there since we both had the whole day to go there, instead of only a small window of time we had on weekdays between school, practice and work. It was this logic that allowed me to go with her. That, and I didn't like the idea of my money being wasted on a membership I wasn't using.

I instantly regretted agreeing to it as soon as we stepped in though. The gym was a lot more crowded on Saturday. I felt so out of place, looking around at the perfectly sculpted bodies that had invaded my gym. Why were all these people here? I don't recall ever seeing them here before. Had the members changed so much in two weeks?

It also made for longer waits for machines. We finally managed to find two treadmills next to each other and we both hopped on.

"Fancy seeing you here," came a familiar voice from behind me. I froze, and felt the tears instantly spring up.

Really? Right here, right now? I asked those pesky water droplets. They always made the worst appearances. I turned around, abandoning my attempt at entering the information to get the treadmill started. If it was possible, Derek looked better than ever. I suddenly felt hideous.

"Hey," I quietly said. I began chewing my inner cheek. I was nervous, and I just wanted to finish this stupid workout, then crawl into a hole and nest there forever.

"It's good to see you," Derek said, not looking like he meant it. He nodded in Mackenzie's direction and walked away.

"Do you want to leave?" Mackenzie asked. I shook my head aggressively.

"We came here to workout, so we're going to workout," I stated. Mackenzie nodded, started up her machine, and started jogging. I followed suit. I never ran so hard and so long before. I guess I felt the need to punish myself. Or to improve myself. Funny how I couldn't distinguish between the two.

Afterwards, I went over to one of the arm machines which, luckily, wasn't being used. I had just finished setting the weight when I heard a giggle close-by. Out-of-place noises always catch my attention. All the grunting, chatting, and even yelling was commonplace here. But giggling? That was a lot less common.

I saw Derek flirting with another girl at one of the machines, and my heart sank. Maybe he wasn't as in love with me as he claimed. How could he be? He looks like he's been sleeping soundly since we broke up. Clearly he's been taking care of himself, and he looks even more in shape since then. And he's moving on. I felt so stupid for liking him. He was over me. And that's pretty generous to say, assuming he even liked me to begin with. Maybe he just wanted to see what it was like with a fat girl.

"Hey, I'm not feeling too well," Mackenzie said, walking into my line of view and blocking the nauseating scene playing in front of me. I was grateful she did that.

"I'll take you home," I quickly replied, happy to have an excuse to leave. I guess my reaction was a little too obvious because Mackenzie turned around to see what I had been looking at.

"What the hell?" she said. I knew that tone. Mackenzie was in fight mode.

"In his defense, he's single now. He can flirt with whoever he wants. He can sleep with her if he wants," I defended. I didn't want Mackenzie to start a scene.

"Yeah, but you guys just broke up. He's just being inconsiderate right now. Doesn't he see you standing there?" Mackenzie asked.

"I'm the most invisible person in the world. No one sees me standing here," I sadly replied before I could stop myself.