Weathered Love

GRAYSON

I was getting anxious. Karen was running late and I was seriously considering just leaving the coffeehouse. I looked at my phone for the umpteenth time. Only a minute had passed since the last time I had checked my phone. I was feeling too sick to order a drink. This was worse than being nervous over a first date. Although, to be honest, I had only experienced going out on a first date once anyway, so it wasn't like I had much knowledge in that regard.

I was about to leave when Karen finally showed up. She only paused for a moment after seeing me, then gave me a big hug. "You look great!" she gushed. "How did you manage to lose so much weight?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Just ate less," I vaguely informed her.

"Good for you," she continued to compliment. We sat down. She ordered a large latte with extra whipped cream. My stomach was still in knots, so I only ordered a small, herbal tea. "So, tell me how is your life going? I mean, I know you live in California, and of course Ivan is there with you because you two are inseparable, and what else is going on? How are classes and your roommate and are there any love interests?" she rambled.

I shrugged. "California's fine. It's not home. Roommate's a bit of a pain, but she at least keeps things interesting. Classes are fine too. I'm liking them enough." I wasn't sure what else to talk to Karen about. It turned out that in high school, aside from Drama class and parties, we didn't have too much in common. "What about you?" I asked, swinging the questioning back at her. "Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Karen shrugged, turned a little red, then looked away from me. Something definitely happened. "Uh, nothing worth noting," she quietly stated.

"OK," I responded. I didn't feel the need to push her if it was something that was bothering her that much. "How was the party?" I figured that was a safe topic.

"It wasn't bad," Karen seemed to comfortably respond. "A little more low-key than I would have liked, but I guess that's because a lot of the old crowd didn't show up and a lot of my college friends are more the poetry reading and philosophical discussion types."

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it," I apologized.

"It's funny, because Caleb made the same excuse," Karen chuckled. "He's not much into parties either. Why didn't you guys ever get together?" she asked.

"Why do you make that assumption?" I shot back. I was clearly still sore over the topic.

Karen didn't seem to notice the hostility in my tone, or at least, her expression didn't give me that impression. "Because he and I got back together soon after graduation," she filled in. She quickly shut her mouth, as if she had just spilled a secret she was meant to take to the grave. That must have been the thing she was uncomfortable about earlier.

"Meh," I responded, not sure what else to say. "We weren't meant to be," I finally concluded. "It's all for the best anyway. I live in California most of the year. It doesn't make sense to start a relationship on a long-distance note."

"That's true. We broke up right near the end of August because he didn't even want to do a one-hour drive distance with me, so I can imagine he wouldn't want to try opposite ends of the country," she started to ramble. I could tell she was feeling guilty. After trying to push us together, she got sucked back in and she was worried I'd be upset over it.

"Karen, you can calm down. You're free to date whoever you want, including Caleb," I assured her.

"Well, it's not like we're together now. But I'm sure he told you about it," she seemed to be fishing.

"I cut off ties with most people after going to California," I quipped. "I haven't spoken to Caleb since graduation."

"But you guys seemed so close!" Karen stated, her shock seeming genuine. I shrugged and started to avoid eye contact. It was taking every ounce of strength in me not to overreact to the topic. But I wasn't sure how much longer I could talk about Caleb without either flying off the handle or having an anxiety attack or breaking down.