Weathered Love

COLLABORATION

"You have to believe me," Andrew begged. I did believe him. But at the same time, it was awfully convenient that his phone had fallen into the water the same day that Ashley posted that picture. And it still didn't explain why he seemed perfectly happy in the picture. I looked down, trying to figure out the actual truth from the version of events that Andrew had given me. That was a mistake. I was confronted with the horrible belly that had grown in the past year.

I'd gotten complacent, and hadn't been as vigilant about making sure I was eating small, healthy meals. I'd gotten lazier, not opting to walk as much or do as much. In all, I'd gotten fatter. Had Andrew just relished in the moment that a skinny, beautiful woman wanted to be intimately close with him? White hot anger built up inside of me, spilling over into scorching tears that suddenly ran down my cheeks. I wasn't angry at Andrew. Or even at Ashley. I was angry at myself. I had let myself go and deluded myself into thinking that someone could ever love me in my piggy form.

"Hey," Andrew softly stated, extending his hand to wipe away my tears. Instinctively, I swatted his hand away. I didn't want his sympathy or his pity. I wanted his love. And it felt like it was quickly slipping away from me. I turned to leave his apartment and as I opened the door, there stood the spark that started this whole thing.

I was about to push past her when Andrew latched onto my arm and pulled me back into the apartment. He didn't appear to have noticed that Ashley had stopped by. "Stop it," he ordered. "Talk to me. Stop trying to run away," he insisted. I took a purposeful glance in Ashley's direction then made eye contact with Andrew, indicating that we now had an audience. "Now is not the time Ash," he stated, exhausted.

"Actually, I'd like to hear what she has to say," the words suddenly tumbled out of my mouth. I pulled up the picture from just a few days prior and held it up to her. "What does this mean?" I inquired, trying to keep my voice cordial.

"Oh, I was just trying to show my appreciation for Drewzy," Ashley stated. "He and I are best friends, so people can misinterpret things sometimes. It doesn't mean anything," she shrugged. Was that really the case? Was I doing what all of Ivan's girlfriends did? But then again, I never broadcasted this kind of intimacy, if there was any such intimacy, between Ivan and I. I never wanted to make his girlfriends feel like there was anything other than platonic friendship between us. This picture was akin to a romantic relationship. No, this wasn't a picture broadcasting their friendship. This was a claim to Andrew.

"This doesn't seem too platonic," I pointed out with an eerie calmness. I glared at Ashley, suddenly willing her to burst into flames. I thought she had given me her blessing. I thought she was going to back off. Why was she suddenly trying to come back into Andrew's life like this? Why was she trying to break us up?

"Oh, it's really nothing," Ashley responded with a fake smile and a wave of her hand. "Like I said, we're just really close friends."

"No, this isn't the act of really close friends. I've had really close guy friends. My best friend was a guy. We never acted like this, despite being so close, because this crosses a line," I bluntly stated.

"Come on Ivy-" Andrew stated. I turned my death glare to him, wanting him to remove himself from the conversation.

"I don't know what to tell you," Ashley shrugged. "Maybe you guys weren't as close as you think you were." That was a dagger to my heart. If she had admitted she was trying to steal Andrew, it wouldn't have hurt as much as the statement that Ivan and I weren't as close as I thought we were. Because I was prepared to hear her admit that she wanted Andrew. But to taint the memory of the friendship I had with Ivan - to place that doubt in my heart without any method of verifying or eliminating it with Ivan - that was a surprise attack.