Senior year came too fast. I managed to shrink down to a size that was easier on the eyes, but I wasn't exactly a size 2. I kept repeating the mantra to myself that I needed to be healthy, not skinny. It was easier to say it than believe it though.
"Am I going to have to deal with your depression on the first day of school every year?" Mackenzie asked. I had been standing at the foot of the school steps, looking up at the building in which I was only going to spend one more school year. I gave her a quizzical look. "You were upset on the first day last year too. Until you saw Caleb of course," she teased. I just rolled my eyes at her, but it was more meant for myself. That summer, as hard as I tried not to think of him, as far as I tried to remove myself from him, as much as I wanted to stop liking him, I just couldn't. In fact, it seemed that the harder I tried, the more I liked him.
"Well, let's get going," I said. I knew my change was noticeable, and suddenly I dreaded any attention it would get, whether positive or negative. I kept my head down and walked next to Mackenzie, avoiding anyone and everyone's gaze. We got our first-day information sheets and left the queue.
"I'm so happy we get senior lockers this year," Mackenzie almost squealed. The senior lockers were biggers, newer, and cleaner than all the other lockers. It was the small things like that that made high school slightly more bearable. It also meant our lockers were guaranteed to be in the same hallway, since all the senior lockers were in one hallway, unofficially dubbed the "Senior Hallway". Unfortunately, it meant also having to deal with the seniors I tried my best to avoid.
"Are you alright?" Mackenzie asked, looking nervously at me. Honestly, I was feeling sick just at the thought of seeing anyone else. I loved high school because I loved school in general, but it was the first time that I realized what other people meant when they talked about high school giving them anxiety... suddenly, I cared what everyone thought. And the thought of them judging me froze me with terror.
"I'm fine," I said, taking a breath to try to calm my nerves. We went to our lockers and found Ivan and Samantha there, making out in front of my locker. "Why is it that every year, my locker is the place for over-the-top PDA?" I asked under my breath so only Mackenzie could hear.
Mackenzie laughed, drawing attention to us. A lot of the senior class was there, already decorating their lockers to their taste and basking in the little victory that is reaching senior year and getting a senior locker. I walked up to my locker, hoping Samantha or Ivan would notice me and move out of the way, but to no avail.
"Hey lovebirds! Separate!" Mackenzie yelled. I turned red along with them, but Mackenzie just laughed, as was her style.
"Hey guys, how was summer?" I heard Karen say from behind me. I froze for a minute and she continued. "Who's this?" she asked, and I could feel her look at me. I turned around. "Oh my God, Ivy!" she chirped. "I didn't recognize you! You look awesome!" she said, giving me a hug. I returned a more reserved hug. Our last conversation was the conversation at the bubble tea shop and I wasn't sure if she was just being nice so as to keep up appearances or if she was truly happy to see me.
"Thanks," I replied through pursed lips. "How was your summer?" I casually asked. Karen started to tell us about her summer travels around Europe, visiting family members, experiencing different cultures, and gushing over the amazing food there. The more she talked the more comfortable I grew being back at school. I started to zone out when another familiar voice pulled me back to reality.
"What's up guys?" Caleb said. My head whipped in his direction and I noticed him do a double-take. "Wow Ivy, looking good," he commented, winking at me. I swear he looked me up and down too.
"Thanks," I said, again through pursed lips. I knew people would have something to say, but I didn't do this for praise, so I wasn't comfortable receiving it. "Karen was just telling us about her escapades and lovers in Europe," I joked. Caleb's smile got smaller and Karen looked a little embarrassed. Apparently, they had not kept in touch over the summer either. I didn't feel too bad for embarrassing them though, since I was still reeling from Karen's admission. And I was angry that, if what Karen said was true, Caleb hadn't done anything.
YOU ARE READING
Weathered Love
ChickLit"You're not a burden," he said. "OK," I said, again, trying to play it off like I didn't care. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep up the façade. I could feel the tears banging against the barricade just behind my eyelids, the sobs clawing at...
