I Love You, It's Ruining My Life | Lovertation Taylor Swift Fanfic |

Chapter 5

Tw: suicide

🖤Rep🖤
I got home from school for the weekend at around 3:30. My parents were leaving for their weekend trip at 5, meaning I had about 2 hours left.

I had nothing to do until then, so I sat on my bed and stared at the wall. I would've written a note or something, but that's for those who have people that will notice if they're gone. I already had it planned out: once they left, I was going to grab the gun that my parents had "hidden" in their room. Then I was going to go back in my room and get it done with. Put the gun up to my head and pull the trigger. Simple as that. I just wanted to get it done with as fast as possible.

(Time skip to 5:05)

"REP" my mom stormed into my room.

"Yeah?"

"WE'RE LEAVING"

"Okay? Why are you yelling at me?"

"BECAUSE I YELLED YOUR NAME ONCE ALREADY AND YOU IGNORED ME LIKE THE BRAT YOU ARE. DONT CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS WHILE WE'RE GONE OR I'M GONNA KILL YOU"

I replied with a simple "ok",
almost laughing at the irony in her sentence. And with that they left. I watched out my bedroom for when they pulled out of the driveway, and then it was time.

I walked into their bedroom and opened the drawer that had the gun. One problem though: it wasn't there. I searched everywhere in their room, it wasn't there.

That wasn't stopping me, though. I'd just have to endure more pain than I'd planned. I deserve the pain anyways.

Plan B: I walked into the garage, grabbed a thick rope off of one of my dad's tool shelves, and walked back to my room.
After tying a loop in the rope, I hung it up on my ceiling using a ceiling hook that I had previously used to hang a chair up with.

At this point, my heart was racing, my breath was shaking, and my face was stained with tears. I didn't want to leave, but it would be better this way. My life wasn't worth living, it was just pain, and nobody loved me.
I grabbed the brown wooden stool from the corner of my room and put it under the rope.

One last step. 5 minutes and I would be gone.
Now I just had to do it.

🩷Lover🩷
I was sitting on my bed, looking out the window out of pure boredom, and then I saw Rep through the window of the house across from me.
Hm, I didn't know she was my neighbor. How did I not notice?
I started watching her, not in a creepy way or anything, I just wanted to see what she was up to. I saw her tying a rope and hook it on the ceiling, and then place a stool under it.
Maybe she's opening the attic door? Or trying to get up high enough to work on something on her ceiling. Who knows.
At this point I was curious, so I kept watching.

As I watched a little longer, I had realized what was happening. As tears streamed down her face, I saw her hesitantly step onto the stool and slip the other loop over her head.

Oh my God. NO. NO NO NO NO.

Without thinking twice, I bolted out my front door, ignoring my mom when she screamed at me asking where I was going.

As I ran across the street, I saw her kick the stool out from under her as her weight fell. I had less than 2 minutes. Thankfully her garage was open, and there was a crowbar sitting there. I jammed the crowbar into her front door at a rapid pace until I made a hole big enough for me to slide through.