Beyond The Walls

Chapter 41. Neglected Queen

Nesh (adj)

Soft; tender; delicate

Sarris' POV

I have yet to feel the baby move about. The doctor tells us that it's normal and that it's still very early in the pregnancy and that I could feel it at any time. He thinks my belly should be a little bigger first though. My belly has already grown in size, I can't wait until I'm able to rest goblets and plates on it.

Night time is the hardest. I get so sick when the sun goes down around the same time ever night. Right when the sun meets the horizon and the sky begins to dim. That's when nausea strikes. Most the time I don't even throw up. It's just the feeling of needing to.

Being disgusted with food I used to love is the worst. I've always been pretty thin but I've always loved food. My mother taught me that ladies eat small quantities of food and even then, they never finish what is on their plate. "If you're still hungry, fill up on wine," is what she'd tell me.

Hog is out of the questions, anything coming from that animal sends me straight to a bush the vomit. Ale does the same. I've never enjoyed ale but when I smell it on the guards, it infuriates me. They know by now that it makes me sick. Inconsiderate fools. They are lucky I don't send them to be imprisoned, I just send them to a different part of the castle.

My muscles ache from the added weight the baby has put on me. My legs haven't had to lift more than my slender frame my whole life.

"Please, allow me to come with you today. Take me on a stroll around the garden," I beg my husband who's been awfully busy since the beginning of my pregnancy. I just miss him. And I miss how attentive he was to me. Now his main focus is this silly little war.

"I'll take you on a stroll later, I have to make sure my men are training properly."

I roll my icy blue eyes, "you always tell me later," I remind him, hoping he will change his mind.

He softens his gaze at me, grabbing my hand with his warm one.

"Later never seems to come," I do my best to make him feel sympathy for his pregnant Queen.

To no avail, he walks out of the castle doors, leaving me alone with guards and servants.

"Cordilia," I call for my head servant.

She shuffles quickly to my side, "yes my Queen," is her respectful response.

"Get the washing room ready for me, I need to soak my body before I strangle someone."

Her head nods before she scurries off down the hall as if she'd be the one I'd strangle. Perhaps. She'd be the one closest to me. Her neck is slim, my hands could probably fit around them perfectly.

As my bath is being prepared, I head to the private gardens inside the castle to wait.

It's beautifully green in here. The only time it slightly changes is in the winter. The green foliage dies a little since the sun isn't as strong. But when the weather is hot, it's perfect. We sadly don't get any of those pretty insects in here, I think they may be called buttleflies? I'm not sure, Cassius told me about them a while ago and the pregnancy brain has me forgetting everything. He said they don't come into enclosed spaces, they like to be free so they can use their wings as much as they want. I think they'd have plenty of room here, maybe I'll get one of the guards to fetch me a few to capture in here.