king's mistress

Chapter 28

The night before the wedding

things are better with taehyung. they are not that good but at least it's not like before. only an hour is left before it's officially Taehyung's wedding day. the day when I will have to witness him embracing another woman. the day aera will win. 

but all that will happen if I allow it. I haven't been grinding for nothing. tomorrow night, when the wedding will take place I will make sure no one ever underestimates me. I will make them regret toying with me. 

at the moment, I am in my and Taehyung's shared chambers and seated on the couch by the window. It is almost midnight but it doesn't feel like it. there are voices everywhere, everyone talking about tomorrow night. servants carrying goods from one place to another, most likely setting up the hall. 

even being in the palace makes me go feral. I can't help but think if things dont go my way, aera will be the one residing in these chambers with taehyung, she will be with him every moment. She will be by his side, not me. and the mere thoughts make my heart ache.  even though taehyung assures me that I am the only one for him, the only one in his heart, my heart is not put at ease. 

because the human heart is a wicked thing. sure it falls for one, aches for one, breaks for one but for how long? How long until it falls for another? It aches for another? it heal for another?  I am no princess or special I am fated to have his heart all to myself. that's rare, it only happens to the lucky ones and I am not lucky. if I were, I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. 

before I know it tears are running down my cheeks. my eyes have turned red and I can't breathe. why am I here? why is this happening to me? what did I ever do to deserve this misery?

I am panicking. my hands are shaking and my legs have gone numb. my chest is weighing down with some invisible force. 

suddenly, I feel the weight on my arms. holding me tight and making me stand. "Breathe with me. it's ok" I can work out the manly silhouette. I dont bother to see who it is, I just follow the directions. the man takes deep breaths and I try to follow him. I breathe with him. 

"you are safe, calm down. you are safe" he whispers sweet nothings in my ears and holds me close to his chest. "y/n how did you end up like this?" 

"why?" I whisper and place my hands on his chest to shove him backwards. 

"why?" I scream this time. "what did I ever do to deserve this? what have I ever done? I dont want to feel this fucking pain. I fell because he said things would get better. After all, he said he would be there for me. that it was the world against us. but the world just walked all over us" 

I am shouting and crying and hitting on the man's chest. 

"why is this only happening to me? just because I fell for someone I couldn't have? I shouldn't have?"

"I should have never fallen for him. I should have never loved taehyung. I can't help but think if things would have been different if I had met Jimin first" 

the words are out and I can't take them back. It's too late. I hope the man holding me isn't taehyung because it would kill him if he ever heard me say this. 

taehyung has done everything in his capacity to make me feel loved and worthy of all the pleasures in life. before he made me fall for him, he made me love myself. he has protected me and done everything for me and this is how I repay him. 

"love" 

that voice. it's not close. it's coming from a distance. 

"dont-t say that" his voice cracks.