real psychward exclusive

pt.2

"please take your bones back,

i'm tired of having thoughts that make my heart sore."

what?

but i like to torture my body everyday,

on and off meds,

skipping them every other day.

mom catches me,

she scolds me and prays.

she wants me to be normal.

pffft ill never be that way.

i have these thoughts,

i've tricked myself into believing i can fly.

haven't you realized,

if you think hard enough,

your dreams become real?

oh fuck does that mean i'm gonna be raped?

i keep having dreams,

a man touches me at the top of a playground then i feel bare.

i've learned to keep a knife on me in my dreams,

a blade protects me once more.

last night i dreamed,

you all abandoned me again.

at least the Starbucks barista gave me free coffee to drown out my cries.

i'm behind in every class,

teachers have grown to hate my face.

do i look strange to you?

6th to 7th, 8th to 9th

i cant figure which one made me this way,

6th started it off, it came and went.

7th was a shit show, bpd introduced itself,

told me "from now on, everything will go my way."

8th put me on pills.

to the hospital i went.

i guess an od of 700 only made me miss like 2 weeks of school.

9th has yet come,

scared i feel.

i dont know how to live,

in a body thats not mine.

im disconnected from reality.

sometimes you will catch yourself look at your friends and stare.

"why do you pretend to care,

i mean who are you?

how did we even become friends

why do i trust and love you so muc-"

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

you better distance yourself before they choke you out,