real psychward exclusive

my tree

tripping over my feet,

my heartbeat is at its peak.

i feel it in my spine,

it medials with my mind.

every fucking time,

"please just shut up,

i can't handle your whine."

my old morals and ethics,

im begging for them to please just come back home.

bring that girl with you,

shes still alive, i hope.

minute by minute,

the roots tease and laugh.

locked in that closet,

i tried to hide after i did it.

i knew i couldn't go back,

so i didn't stop to think when i threw away my own key.

the ways of my mind,

the things that helped it all be fine,

they're all racked up and higher than me.

it wasnt my prophecy, that i'd one day kill my own tree.

if i didn't care so little that day,

if i had stepped over the root,

would she still be with me?

if my tree doubled in height,

along with those same old morals that i held so tight,

i just know that i'd be dead.

but I much rather that than what its bubbled into instead.

now its just dread,

a choice gone wrong.

i didnt mean to knit more of the thread,

i didnt want to murder everything i worked so hard for, nor cause a threat.

and now look at me,

sinking onto my knees, pleading with the tree.

"please just grow, i'll step around you this time. to prove it, i'll even give you my life."

i sit around aimlessly all day,

i just want my tree to grow.

everyones else's is, and i get jealous when they gloat.

that girl grew it so easy,

so fast and tall.

that girl is so admirable,

i just want to gawk and stare.

would it be awkward,

if i asked her for help?

but the only problems are,

she would only look me up and down with complete despair.

sometimes shes nice,

but i also know that one day, she will be the cause of my trees demise.